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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sometimes Kittensdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 845
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1054



    Description:
       Wow, I wrote something long.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSometimes Kittensdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You said you loved my frailty,
    the way my ribs jutted
    beneath my breasts,
    my tiny feet,
    my childlike hands,
    my baby face.
    You said you loved my skin
    softer than a bruised peach,
    paler than white paper,
    too thin for the sun.
    You'd spend hours
    tracing my veins
    with your calloused fingers
    dropping a kiss here and there,
    and brushing my unfashionably long hair.
    You called me your alabaster woman,
    your china doll,
    your precious anachronism,
    and now you pass me
    without speaking,
    and it feels like acid
    on my dainty heart,
    but I glare at you
    just to remind you
    of how much you want me,
    and I know you still do,
    the way you squirm away
    even though I shattered
    your pretty illusions.
    I'm so sorry
    that you couldn't mold me
    into your meek little dream girl,
    but sometimes kittens
    are lions inside.





    Submitted on 2004-04-20 00:42:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I do not understand why everyone is so amazed by a woman writing something long, every man knows once you get a woman started she is hard to shut down-HAhaha.
    Seriously; you have written well the feelings of the heart which do require a bit more a'litter'ation
    | Posted on 2004-04-20 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great! very well done. u stay right on target the whole piece, & the descriptions are very well done! i'm adding this to my favs. :)
    | Posted on 2004-04-20 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. this begins great and ends storng. don't have anything much to say on this except i really, really like this.
    | Posted on 2004-04-20 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! You wrote something LONG!
    What can I say? You uses your usual minimalist techniques to detail the many ways in which this man was attracted to you--all the while building to the turning point--then we see that he saw only what he wanted to see--his loss. I think love should be blind---in that we should use the other senses first when starting out with a new friendship, a new neighbor--a new love--
    Good work Amy, Silver
    | Posted on 2004-04-20 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      the description in the peice of the person is vibrant, great description. I also like the contrast bt the idealistic picture and reality, or with the way the person really is. From the line I glare at you on I think you loose some of the auro created in the opening lines. This may have been your intent- good peice anyway.
    | Posted on 2004-04-20 00:00:00 | by leftof_red | [ Reply to This ]
      Rawr... grrrl power n all that jazz :)

    You got it ~*spot on*~ with acid on my dainty little heart. You paint yourself as slight and brittle andin using the bodily images you are "proving" how you should be weak, yt you denounce it all at the end because regardless of what we, or he, expected, you ARE strong, because you wouldn't allow yourself to be broken. I have a piece similar where I apologise for refusing to be cowed. I like yours :)
    | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      I was hoping that he would turn out to be one of those manipulative characters that won't let her step out of the door because he is so jealous and that she would turn out to be so strong that she told him to **&% (go away) and leave her alone. So, I guess I'm saying that I liked it up to halfway through. This doesn't mean much in terms of criticism, just that I felt the story line let her down a bit.
    | Posted on 2004-04-22 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      Completely in staying with the minimalism approach and yet...longer. I am awed. I live this piece. You paint this picture of such childlike and fragile beauty. This man must have really been flumoxed upon realizing the heart inside this small flower.
    | Posted on 2004-04-22 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      I mean "I like this piece" not live this piece.....I also wish we could correct our comments....sorry.
    | Posted on 2004-04-22 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      first off, i liked this piece. i identified with it at a personal level. it reminds me
    of the mythical sculpture pygmalion, who labored to reshape his "ideal" woman in stone (like we tend to remake our companions in our own image)... which is why relationships don't always work. anyway, good write.
    | Posted on 2004-04-22 00:00:00 | by colagirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely, and so true. "sometimes kittens, are lions inside" very spiffily done. I like it a lot. the imagery you projected was lovely. Keep it up, m'lady. ~Sicobe R. Crow
    | Posted on 2004-04-24 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      'But sometimes kittens
    Are lions inside'
    so true. so you can write something long??
    I really enjoyed this piece, your images are great as always and I especially like the end. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-04-20 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]


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