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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crashdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: srcastic1
    ASL Info:    18/F/IA
    Elite Ratio:    6.29 - 96/97/28
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 716
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 838



    Description:
       This is pretty much about my significant other who currently attends college in virgina, quite a ways from iowa. I spent my first week with him last summer and came away from it knowing a new level of happiness. My feelings that week were sort of similar to being in the center of a collision. I felt like there was just us, letting time blur together with only a definite beginning and end.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrashdots
    -------------------------------------------


    At the airport we collide,
    and like finding your favorite song
    you never knew lacked in your aching brain,
    we attach and savor it.
    Our air dissolves,
    our life source replaced.
    The last year together
    and apart, anxious, melts into the terminal floor.
    You excuse your soda glazed jeans,
    casualty of a careless child.
    Ironic that you're insecure.
    For once, when doesn't circle my mind,
    or how, helpless, hopeless,
    only "at last"
    sweetly resounding, reminding
    before seven seconds becomes seven days
    blissfully lost in the wreckage.
    Inside a spin-dry blur I feel
    Bodies stare in detached awe,
    witness to a beautiful collision,
    while I uncover my life in your eyes
    and I sigh.




    Submitted on 2005-10-25 20:21:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      that was one of the most beautiful piced i am supprised that i liked it this much i agree with K however the flow needs work but the overall expression is beautiful... wonderfull write keep at it
    love and light
    Archer
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Archer | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, what a sweet poem! Your metaphor was perfect, and your description of the scene at the airport was fantastic.

    I would however like to see better flow throughout. But that's all I have to criticize.

    I especially loved your last line:

    "and I sigh"

    A great ending to a great poem.

    -k
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Kierkegaard | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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