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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Milking Itdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: srcastic1
    ASL Info:    18/F/IA
    Elite Ratio:    6.29 - 96/97/28
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 661
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463



    Description:
       This is a little free-verse I wrote for a research project on Kurt Cobain in AP English. The title is dervived from Nirvana's "Milk It". And if any of you guys know what Cobain was like, you'll probably understand most of this poem including the song quote. Otherwise, in short, it's about how instant fame can be a blessing and a curse, hence the contradictory adjectives, symbiotic and parasitic.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMilking Itdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Like a teenage wasteland cinderella cliché
    The boys move on from grime to glory,
    With a few clicks of the camera and
    Callous chords strummed by
    The Rock Savior.
    They are marketed, sold-out,
    Objectified, magnified
    By the symbiotic parasitic media.
    In less than a "hello, how low",
    They’ve made it to greatness.
    Better get used to it.
    Normalcy is a thing of the past.




    Submitted on 2005-10-25 22:29:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is perfect free-verse, it is natural and capturing. But mostly I like it where it says "Callous chord strummed by
    The Rock Savoir"

    This is a great skill.
    One love, Poets Souls!

    Teboho.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Teboho Mochaoa | [ Reply to This ]
      I used to be such a Nirvana freak! I know most of their lyrics inside out, I listened to all of their songs repeatedly when I was about thirteen, fourteen or fifteen. I don't listen to them much now but their music will always have a place in my heart.

    There's just something so damn catchy about the brilliantly simple yet evocative music of Kurt and Co. that still finds its way into the hearts of people today. All that bundled anguish and lyrical, melodic jaggedness strikes a definite chord... at least it did and still does with me.

    Oh, ok... onto the poem itself. Sorry, I got carried away haha.

    I think that this bit could use brushing up -
    'With a few clicks of the camera and
    Callous chord strummed by
    The Rock Savoir.'
    - into perhaps (this is just a small suggestion) -
    'With a few clicks of the camera
    And callous chords strummed by
    The Rock Savior.'
    - your typo on savior (we spell it saviour here but you're obviously American, but anyways, off on a tangent again), then your enjambment - I think that the word 'and' should be on the next line myself... but whatever, it's your call. And don't you mean 'chords' not 'chord'. If you wanted to keep it singular you would have to add an 'a' in front of 'callous'. Just a minor grammar/syntax thing.

    Oh, and I think you meant 'normalcy' on the last line... just another little typo.

    "hello, how low" - isn't that off their song 'smells like teen spirit"? Actually, it is... man, I had to think for a while lol - that just goes to show you the last time I've heard Nirvana. Anyway, it's a good use of a well-known song-lyric to tie in with this poem of yours.

    Overall, I think you presented this well, but I still feel you could've injected a bit more to really put some bang into this piece. Just a personal opinion, nothing more.

    I like your first line - it's a good intro and sets the scene. And your overall cynical message was very true for Kurt and how he felt about it all. Fame... is definitely a two-edged blade.

    Nice write.

    Jase
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]


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