Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Misty Allusiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Desi
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 210/151/34
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 818
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 627



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMisty Allusiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    In a field shrouded in fog,
    a mother deer and her fawn,
    awaken to explore the new dawn.

    Wandering about in this misty allusion
    where everything is quite confusing.
    All of a sudden there is this intrusion.

    In the distance a deafening sound.
    A hunters rifle explodes,
    and a buck hits the ground.

    The air pungent with the smell of death.
    The hunter is tromping through the
    rustling leaves, all out of breath.

    Now in this fog of misty allusion,
    nothing else matters.
    Tranquiltity is forever shattered




    Submitted on 2005-10-25 22:34:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this, and read it as a former hunter. I think every young man has a primitive instinct for hunting. I grew up on a ranch, and was familiar with husbandry and gore, as we also slaughtered and butchered our own beef in those days. I hunted game of all types in season, and it provided a welcome change to our regular tablefare.

    I stopped hunting when I grew older, and now protect and coddle all of the wild creatures. I literally "wince" at the thought of a noble wild animal being hurt or shot nowadays. I'd much rather enjoy watching them live safe and carefree.

    Nice work!

    | Posted on 2011-01-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      This was the Bambi story but more detailed. I liked it and thought it made you think about killing before you do it?
    Well thanks for the read!
    | Posted on 2005-11-02 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      What a sad tale! You can picture yourself as that scared deer here. Her life all grand and good, the day is pretty, she has all her forest friends, going through her territory without a care, having a good meal. All is well, then out of nowhere hunters gunning down her and her baby.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    78806

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Stretto written by saartha
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    ME written by jjd
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry