Description: Well, I now seem to want to write ballads. This is the start of one that may or may not be written more by me. If I do write more, it's going to be 3-6 parts long. So please tell me what you think!
Ballad of the Two: part one -------------------------------------------
Set in a land
about here or near there.
Over in that land lies a lady
A lady that was so fair.
The lady Rose had by her
two sons of great worth.
But the king of the land died.
The two children where hidden away from their rightful birth.
One grew in the castle of a family
another set to become a knight.
For he was the oldest
and it was thought he would become the light.
But fate laughed in the face
of everyone who’d tried so hard.
The oldest son become dark
and the land was soon scarred.
People would run in fright
as soon as a stranger was seen.
The doors always got barred
and no one would help it seemed.
A great terror gripped the land.
Yet some people lived not in fear.
The memory of a small child
and hope was ever so near.
But someone had not forgotten his brother
and that same person went down and slew
every living soul at the knight’s castle so dear.
Then laughed as the blood stained his shoes.
The gloating man killed
his own brother once so dear.
Then with a smile he looked around
then left without looking around him near.
For under a bed lay a child
smaller then most.
And this small and scared child
who was the child of the younger prince’s host.
The child ran away and hid
in the woods so lonely.
He was brave and a knight’s son
but still a child only.
He cried upon the gods and goddess of his birth.
Prayed to them to allow him to live
and to someday revenge
all of those he has just witnessed killed.
The child had to learn to grow
where no person he ever saw.
Years passed and a few more.
And the land now held to a horrible law.
Women and girls taken by force.
Where they got dragged everyone knew
But hearts had sagged
and so no one ever from fate flew.
A stranger came to a village
he asked for water or ale.
And sat watching people pass by
including the women weeping, hidden in veils.
He asked why the weeping
and why everyone now lived in fear.
“My lady, I can recall a time
when everyone in this land lived in cheer.”
The woman he asked wept
and with a great cry
told him what would happen
and what was that made all sigh.
please for us pray.
For our women are to soon walk off
and walk to that castle grey.
For every five girls
the lord and king take one.
It doesn’t matter who she is
a child of noble or a unworldly nun.
A marriage then takes place
and then it is death.”
And then the old woman stopped
and turned, gasping in breath.
The stranger sat and watched
as the girls crying then took leave.
Of the small village
in which all parents softly grieved.
The stranger watched them
with a change in his eyes.
“If I could but find a man to help me
but would I against this evil king rise.”
He paid then left
into the forest so close.
Not knowing what his plea had drew
then again, no one knows how fate goes.
He walked for a day and hour
before coming upon a small hut.
No windows it had, a hole for a door.
All in all it had been crudely cut.
The stranger looked it over
then began to laugh.
Without a thought he knocked
on the hut with his staff.
Out of the woods strode a young man
with eyes with anger did flash.
Upon seeing him our stranger
asked this boy not to be rash.
The two looked at the other then saw
that fate brought them together.
And though they knew what for
one could have been knocked over with a feather.
And there they both swore
by blood and steel.
To overthrow this dark king
then broke bread together to seal the deal.
This is so awesome, I am now loving ballads done by Aki...well...whatever! You know what I mean! I am sorry I didn't read it sooner :( I really wanted to! I'm just busy all the freaking time anymore, it seems, it is terrible :( I never get to read your work right off anymore :( and I love you work!
Alright, and here are some things I noticed that you might want to look over again...if you want, doesn't matter to me
“If I could but find a man to help me but would I but against this evil king rise.”
Uhm...revise? I'm thinking you accidently put the but in there twice...if it is supposed to be that way, help me, I am confused, I know what you meant...the wording just threw me off a little.
told him what would happen and was that made all sigh.
Same as the last one...most mistakes are easily made, just from typing it up quickly, I know I make them all the time. You don't want to stop and go back for fear that it will all go POOF gone.
Yeah, but, anyway, LOVE IT, can't wait to read more!
as always, your rhyme is perfect... how do you manage to always stay with the scheme?i have to admit though, the beginning of this didn't seem up to par with your usual work. towards the end you pick it up and run like you normally do and it's a lot better. i had to giggle in a couple of parts, like the bloodstained shoes and the unworldly nun thing. the story it tells is awesome too... it kind of reminded me of those old arthurian films, you know, the ones that are all about revenge? oh! does the young man find unlikely love in the end too? -oh wait, sorry, i got ahead of myself. Can't wait until the next one comes out!
Hmmm... a very, let's say, interesting piece. I liked the rhyming, and the flow was alright. The wording could have been better, although I suppose the rhyming narrowed down your vocabulary. At first, the poem reminded me of The Man with the Iron Face (title right?) and by the end I was reminded of King Schahriar and His Brother (a piece in English IGCSE Anthology). It was an original piece, however and I admired the theme. Good job.