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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Prejudice Fingersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: crowded_mind
    ASL Info:    21/M/OH
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 121/89/28
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1155
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1580



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPrejudice Fingersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why is this world full of hate?
    With crumbling pride dividing our people.
    Who judge and corrupt thoughts.
    Color and character is not a reason,
    To beat down the heart of our nation.
    Some minds think small so as never to grow.
    Bigoted words prove no point.
    Discriminating structure to tear down, never to build.

    Swollen guilt with prejudice fingers point,
    And to another lie we surrender.
    Keep them down, strip them of hope,
    All in the name of a god.
    Righteous pretence of fools.
    Entitlement to our crimes.

    Implicate the criminal.
    The one who owns the fault.
    Hate masquerades as reason,
    Justifying destruction of the race.
    Deep inside this ignorance, burying.
    A judge who canít forgive,
    Can never lead the way,
    To a better understanding.

    Confections of hypocrisy.
    Counseling our will to hate,
    Seeking for those to blame.
    Never realizing this world we create,
    Is the milieu we subsist inside.
    Dirty concepts of our minds,
    Point towards otherís lies,

    Depth of inner sanctum blind,
    To the source of emotion.
    See ourselves through otherís eyes,
    The reason for this spark of hate.
    Mirrored image of our self,
    Defining those of whom we see.
    Analyzing all our thoughts.
    Projecting our conspiracies.


    Canít you see in your mindís eye?
    You are pointing to you.





    Submitted on 2005-10-26 07:44:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I find this clichťd and tired. If I wanted to, I could pull up fifteen poems saying the exact same thing, with the same vocabulary and the same structure. Now, I do not mean the subject matter. I mean, specifically, the way of addressing it. I've read sundry poems with the same expression, virtually identical, in fact, except that in this poem the structure has been given some thought and the spelling and grammar are better than most.

    Sometimes when tackling such a big, unweildy subject, it is best to narrow yourself to one incident, one time, one person, to which the issue applies. Or, alternitively, to do something short, sweet, and to the point. If nothing else, find a less juvenile opening line.

    I would classify this as a miss, but you get credit for tackling something which is a huge and potentially explosive subject.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Clarkie | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very well written write
    It speaks the truth throughout the whole piece
    Hate of any type really does kill the love that good kind hearted people are trying to spread throughout the world
    In my life and I can see in yours Hate is not in my vocabuary

    As I always say we have to look to the positive
    For
    To every negative there is a positive

    Stay Positive
    Take Care
    Ron

    And to you and your family I wish a very Happy Thanksgiving
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmmm, this is a very intriguing piece you have here! tackling the subject of Prejudice is never an easy task, i must applaud you on the passion and conviction that you display so well here.

    the idea that you end the piece with is very eloquently stated. i once read that all prejudice is, is one person trying to belittle another due to their own insecurities. and they grasp at any reason they can to make themselves feel better...the bully syndrome i suppose.

    *shrug*

    anyway, very nicely done here.

    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      hate, pride, character, heart, nation, hop,god, fools, crimes, race, forgive, hypocrisy, blame, dirty, lies, conspiracies.

    The above is a list of words from your poem. Our choice of vocabulary establishes a flavour. You have produced a flavour that is not lyrical, but is instead political. Words of that type are known as emotive words, but oddly enough the emotion always tends to be rather non specific, a sort of general fuzzy twanging of the heartstrings. Those words belong in the speech of a poltician in an election campaign. One man's meat is always aniother's poison of course, but for me, politics and social commentary of this didactic sort are not really an apt subject for poetry. It is fine to feel passionate about prejudice and discrimination, but the genre I feel you are looking for is the essay or the speech or even a sermon, but beware that people do not particularly like being preached at.
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like this write and it does give a reason to pause and ponder.

    Poetry comes in all types and sorts. If it is writen from the heart then it is worth the read.

    One phrase will sum up your write nicely.

    When pointing a finger at someone the realization is that there are three fingers pointing back at you.

    Again I like it


    Respect and Amiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good write. The lines:

    Depth of inner sanctum blind,
    To the source of emotion.
    See ourselves through otherís eyes,
    The reason for this spark of hate.
    Mirrored image of our self,

    are inspiritional.
    The rest still seems a little vague in comparison and I personally would like to see more images as you have here and in the title. But as I noticed yesterday others prefer this sort of sloganised protest poetry, and in that way that some music is sloganised hiphop or rap, while some is folk and dwells in images, there is a place for everything. Are you a performer, if you are than I think this would be a good poem to read from a stage with you empathising everything. You have given voice to a very important theme - the racism innate within us all when we feel threatened, well done,

    Speacenik.
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Speacenik | [ Reply to This ]


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    78836

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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