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    dots Submission Name: My Homedots

    Author: _winky_
    ASL Info:    25/f/minnesota
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 664/529/96
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 928
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 649


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    dotsMy Homedots

    Did I mess up beyond repair?
    Is everything shattered again?
    Leaving me in grave despair?
    If only you would answer meÖ.

    Tears keep falling upon my bed
    Nothing can take away this pain
    Wish I could take back what I said
    Iíve lost you now, but for good?

    Didnít think it really mattered,
    You never seemed to care.
    Little words you said to me
    Caused my heart to slowly tear

    Perhaps someday youíll understand
    These words within this poem
    Then we can start all over again
    Because in your arms is my home.

    Submitted on 2005-10-26 13:13:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Because in your arms is my home...
    Has anyone said a more true line. It really seems that way sometimes doesn't it? And then your home just disappears, and you're left not knowing what to do... I like this piece.
    | Posted on 2006-02-11 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      This seems written for someone. Am I right? If so, the person should really read it. My advice would be to do a spell check before you post again, this kind of error simply shouldn't happen as it distracts from the piece. Otherwise, nicely done.
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by E.S. McLaughlin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem for an apology. It sucks when you say things that you regret later. They always say that words dont hurt but I have always disagreed with that. Words hurt very much and the worst part is once they are said they are forever heard. You cant suck them back into your mouth and I have been there...I know! They create such bad feelings and even after you have apologized, they still are never truly forgotten. One spelling error noted with "tare" should be "tear" otherwise a very sincere and sad kinda poem. I hope it worked out for the best for you. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice job here, saying how sorry you are, with a wish at the end.

    I liked the easy rhyme scheme you used, and, despite a coupla spelling mistakes, I think this has some potential.

    It's always good to write it down, anyway.

    Well done

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

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