This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Broken (Song...ish...thing)

Author: BrokenAngel
ASL Info:    21/F/MI
Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 179 /157 /47
Words: 185
Class/Type: Lyrics /Dark
Total Views: 1243
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1175


Broken (Song...ish...thing)


No more in this life will I live like this
No more will I cry these tears
These dreams I have were never missed
When I lost them inside my fears

'Cause I'm broken deep inside
Trying only to find
A place where I can cry myself to sleep
Somewhere my secrets can keep

When I'm walking down this broken road
I can't remember who I am
Not wanting to do what I'm told
After all, this life's a sham

I'm broken down inside my mind
It seems that I've fallen behind
All alone I refuse to cry
Living inside my broken lies

You watch me as I walk along
Laughing at my dreams
You don't care, I don't belong
You should know nothing is what it seems

My mind is broken now
And on my death I will avow
To find my path, to break away
Unless I live another day
Broken inside of me
Are the peices that will never be free
You don't understand, you can't see
This is who I am, this is me

Submitted on 2005-10-26 20:34:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  The writing goes into a dark monologue of a song that i would listen to, or a song my band might play. The way you write I can tell you dont hold back, thats the kind of writing I like to read.
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
  This is really deep. It's so strange to read your writing, because it's not what one expects when they see you. You do rhyming poetry really well. Not many people can pull that off and retain the depth. Nice.
| Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
  well from the title onwards its been a ride..i like the way the entire piece is written..knowing that in side we are broken and yet willing to fight till the very end..and what i liked the most...that you want to convert this into a song..hope its pantera-ish (thats a complement)...
| Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by jassal | [ Reply to This ]
  This is very well written. I love the way your words came together so. This poem reminds me of some of my own writings. I was able to relate to it as I am sure many others will as well. I can't pick just one favorite stanza or line because I like the whole thing. This is going to my favorites.
| Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by EL | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?