The grand river rapids fell
Across the boy’s great girth
Far below his weight (in pounds)
One must place his worth
He’s just turned four years old
But he learned the lesson long ago;
“Chocolate is a dish best served very, very cold”
“Yum! Yum!” He yelled with joy
Sugar smeared on his face
“Look at that. Poor little boy,
“We can’t blame him for his waist.”
“We can sue McDonalds!”
“But all the angles are used…”
“What if it was him Jackson fondled?”
“We could claim he was abused.”
“And forced to eat pure grease!”
“But how could we explain
that he asked for another piece?”
The lawyers sat down, in disdain
And began their terrible thoughts.
Their energy was spent,
while they smoked their pot.
One stood and yelled “The rent!”
And another’s eyebrow raised.
“We simply call for tons of welfare!
“Oh! And child support his mother wasn’t paid!”
They wrote their litigation with tender love and care
This was their lives’ ambition!
To sue, to speak, to connive
with booze, the legal tradition,
it was that for which they strived.
Soon Judge Joe saw the great boy
And held in a deep chuckle,
“Three point five million for this cheap ploy?
You guys sure are bare-knuckled.”