Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Missing Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Desi
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 210/151/34
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 752
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 472



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMissing Youdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Sitting here alone in the night,
    missing you, wishing your arms were
    holding me tight.
    But all I have are fantasies of a lover ,
    embedded deep within my heart,
    ever so far apart.
    Sometimes dreams can come true,
    They may even for me and you.
    Maybe someday our hearts will intertwine,
    like roses of burgundy wine.
    Bursting forth into the new dawn,
    A love never withdrawn.




    Submitted on 2005-10-27 10:25:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you so much dear Patricia for acknowledging my comment on your poem,'missing you'.
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by ceegeeess | [ Reply to This ]
      "Sometimes dreams can come true,
    They may even for me and you."
    DREAms and love go together. our wishes are our dreams and love magnifies our wishes. every lover is a dreamer and naturally a lover wants the dream to come true. I like these lines
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by ceegeeess | [ Reply to This ]
      I see a lot of genius in your work. This poem strikes a chord with me, even though I'm happily involved in a relationship. Whoever this poem is aimed for obviously doesn't realize what they're missing.

    Keep it up,
    Bill
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Grey Fox | [ Reply to This ]
      Love from afar can be a painful one. Missing somebody, can bring despair. We hold on to our "memories", but long for new experiences, the closing of the gap, and the rising of "the new dawn".

    "But all I have are fantasies of a lover
    embedded deep within my heart"

    I like these two lines, but suggest that you can do without either "embedded" or "deep". Together they seem redundant. Also "entwined roses" is a bit overused by poets, I suggest you choose a different flower, one that fits the image of lovers apart and longing for each other (i
    bittersweet). You've got the emotion coming through in this, we (as readers) can sense your pain and longing. Good write!

    Phil
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      It shows great emotion and compassion. I don't think anything could be added to make it better. It has a magnificent flow of words that paint a story in my mind . This is truly a good poem.
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by smartblond | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good one thing about missing is thei is no one to argue with ha ha just a joke anyways a very nice picture of love painted in words

    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    78973

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry