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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Missing Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Desi
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 210/151/34
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 764
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 472



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMissing Youdots
    -------------------------------------------




    Sitting here alone in the night,
    missing you, wishing your arms were
    holding me tight.
    But all I have are fantasies of a lover ,
    embedded deep within my heart,
    ever so far apart.
    Sometimes dreams can come true,
    They may even for me and you.
    Maybe someday our hearts will intertwine,
    like roses of burgundy wine.
    Bursting forth into the new dawn,
    A love never withdrawn.




    Submitted on 2005-10-27 10:25:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you so much dear Patricia for acknowledging my comment on your poem,'missing you'.
    | Posted on 2006-08-11 00:00:00 | by ceegeeess | [ Reply to This ]
      "Sometimes dreams can come true,
    They may even for me and you."
    DREAms and love go together. our wishes are our dreams and love magnifies our wishes. every lover is a dreamer and naturally a lover wants the dream to come true. I like these lines
    | Posted on 2006-08-09 00:00:00 | by ceegeeess | [ Reply to This ]
      I see a lot of genius in your work. This poem strikes a chord with me, even though I'm happily involved in a relationship. Whoever this poem is aimed for obviously doesn't realize what they're missing.

    Keep it up,
    Bill
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Grey Fox | [ Reply to This ]
      Love from afar can be a painful one. Missing somebody, can bring despair. We hold on to our "memories", but long for new experiences, the closing of the gap, and the rising of "the new dawn".

    "But all I have are fantasies of a lover
    embedded deep within my heart"

    I like these two lines, but suggest that you can do without either "embedded" or "deep". Together they seem redundant. Also "entwined roses" is a bit overused by poets, I suggest you choose a different flower, one that fits the image of lovers apart and longing for each other (i
    bittersweet). You've got the emotion coming through in this, we (as readers) can sense your pain and longing. Good write!

    Phil
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      It shows great emotion and compassion. I don't think anything could be added to make it better. It has a magnificent flow of words that paint a story in my mind . This is truly a good poem.
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by smartblond | [ Reply to This ]
      this was good one thing about missing is thei is no one to argue with ha ha just a joke anyways a very nice picture of love painted in words

    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


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