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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Untitled. . . for nowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 1119
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 879



    Description:
       Okay this is the beginning of something that will, in the end be very long (I hope). This is, of course based on a children's book (if you don't know which one, you'll have to figure it out for yourself) although the main character and the situations in which he will be placed are mine. Please make any suggestions or comments that you'd like. Thank you for reading the piece.
    J


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUntitled. . . for nowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The straw-haired bow stood by the graveside as they lowered his mother into her final resting place. He had been a ward of the state since the day of his birth - at a state hospital for the insane - so he never really knew his mother, but he still felt a deep sadness. He wasn't sure if that was because his mother had died or because he never really got to know her. Everybody knew her story; some guy named Frank had taken care of that. Of course, he made her story more friendly and childlike, but he still told the basics. What people didn't know was that his mother believed every word of what she said and that she had been given over to the state by the people she called aunt and uncle.

    He hated Emily and Henry - he refused to call them aunt or uncle - because of what they had done to his mother. They were supposed to be her family damn it!




    Submitted on 2005-10-27 12:42:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Confusing...I am over here kinda like...dur da dur. Yet, at the same time...this was very interesting. You gave it such depth...I can't even begin to break it down for you!

    You really have talent in story telling. You know how to pull the reader in and make them get on your level. That is the true work of a poet/artist.

    Bravo honey!

    Li
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      The start of this tale really captivates me

    I too am trying to figure out which tale you are talking about

    I will definately be looking for more of this tale
    Take Care
    Ron


    And thank you for your recent comments
    And congratulations on the birth of your Daughter
    May God Bless her and keep her close
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      First of all, lemme say I am glad to see you posting again! Secondly, I cant figure out which children's story this is based on. I really think I should know this but as much as I am thinking about it I cant figure it out! Now you have given me something to ponder with for a while. I do like what you have written so far and will keep my eyes out for the ones to come! And if I cant figure this out, I hope you will tell me! hee hee! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Very intresting. But why does he not care about the "Aunt & Uncle" if he does not even know if he cares for his mother? And who is Frank? And why is he telling the story? Was he maybe the Dad?? You left me wondering and I guess I just wanted to know.
    You tell and intersting tale, and I will be comming back to see if there is more to be told.

    Denise
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]


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