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    dots Submission Name: Three Seconds on the Clockdots

    Author: Cigarz
    ASL Info:    35/M/NH
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 258/183/50
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 981
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 367

       Now who didn't think, at some moment in high school, of what it would have been like to be the star quarterback/pitcher/point guard/forward?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThree Seconds on the Clockdots

    A last resort Debbie
    who ignored me with a kiss,
    parts a wave and smiles
    too sweet.
    Just flattered she noticed
    an old American dream like me,
    the last chance hero,
    a final seconds homecoming king.
    She wiggles,
    flinging misplaced praise
    across an empty field,
    and I'm happy nonetheless.

    Submitted on 2005-10-27 16:42:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, quietly cynical, and self-deprecating, I really enjoyed this (and I don't usually like small poems)

    Very good use of words to get your idea across, this is really impressive, I'd be entering it into contests

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this
    It shows good emotion and it shows a need to express oneself
    Exactly what poetry is all about
    Good Job

    Take Care

    And thank you for your recent comments I appreciate it very much
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really great. the flow has this strangely fitting feel to it. ive seen things from both sides. i used to be a nobody, and now im a somebody...i really dont know which is better. what really didnt seem to fit was her flinging praises across an empty field. everybody's view of the hero is to have all the friends, have all the women, have everything he ever wanted. what is empty about that? i understand the reality of it, but if we are talking about the dream world... thats the only thing that i can see that just didnt seem to be right. good write.
    | Posted on 2005-10-27 00:00:00 | by brokenroses | [ Reply to This ]

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