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    dots Submission Name: Necromancer's banedots

    Author: shoggoth
    ASL Info:    24/m/croatia
    Elite Ratio:    4.74 - 80/84/30
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 964

       4 all you dark poem fans ;)

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    dotsNecromancer's banedots

    Subtle gestures of his hand
    Manipulate the graveyard earth
    Damned souls linger underneath
    Preparing for their afterbirth

    Chantings from unholy wisdom
    Sing to spirits long departed
    A prayer to the darkest one
    To quit the job that he has started

    The temple of the mortal's end
    Turns to an abandoned tomb
    The dead now tread their resting place
    Rising from the devil's womb

    Patterns from mischievous writings
    Mark the path for those that passed
    A commandment from the blackest one
    Life on Earth will never last

    Piling armies of the damned
    Reap across the dying world
    The living flee far from the corpses
    That the mother hell has hurled

    Sightings from unhuman thoughts
    Thrust the creeps down living skin
    A bane sent for the human race
    Exterminating every sin

    Submitted on 2005-10-28 05:52:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      every single freaking line here is bad a*ss except for one that didnt "jive" with me very well it is "Exterminating every sin" this seems not something the legions of hell would do sorry it could be my own spiritual beliefs and may have no bearing on such a piece. but i would think this army is not after the extermination of sin but more or less participating in all the worst of sins rape and murder, like the vikings except from hell. i mean "murder of sins" ahem those who commit them, i would think the "allmighty" sends his angels to do that especially in the beginning of the OT. so you can take what i said and use that or trash it. either way it doesnt matter, just giving my thoughts.

    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok I must admit I was thinking a necromancer was a person who sleeps with the dead and to my disapointment well.....it is not at all--but thats ok for what this is I thought it was allright-not my style but it does have style and paints your story well.
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      now this is something else! the twist at the end is brilliant, in my opinion... you cleverly deceive the reader that this is just another poem about the raising of the dead, but turns out that this 'army of the damned' are up and walking about to rid humanity of their sins. or is it humanity that is the sin itself that the undead are going to exterminate? hmm. regardless of the possible philosophy behind this, this is an interesting concept indeed... may I ask what inspired this idea? I'm no religious person, so I didn't relate to anything of that particular matter when I read this... anyway, aside from the very interesting idea, this poem was an enjoyable read. the flow was very good, and had a steady, chanting rhythm to it. makes the reader feel as if he/she were the necromancer, or the person conducting this certain ritual, itself. haha. well, good write!
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by zhi wei | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way your title leads a person to think that the poem is going to be about something against necromacy, but ends up in the the end that Necromacy was not the tension - humanity was, and necromacy was the solution.

    The implications are interesting - and I may just be reading too far into something a little simpler, but here goes. In the end, this dark, necromatic energy is working for the powrs of good. Speaking biblically, these were raised my evil, unholy people - in other words, satanists, ergo this work was done by satan himself.
    The effect, though, was the ridding the world of sin, and in its simplest form, this is a good thing, something god would have wanted to do. I think this could be a scoffing at the division of good and evil, or another way to say 'the end justifies the means'.
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Starless Knight | [ Reply to This ]

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