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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: AAdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mimi
    ASL Info:    30/f/ny
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597/390/111
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 627
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 637



    Description:
       what do you think of the I's? and I'm stuck on the title.. any suggestions?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAAdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i scream as tears
    stream down and pool
    at my feet.
    i dream as fears
    seem to crowd
    leaving me beat.
    coping and hoping
    turning the page
    yelling with rage.
    as i engage in war.
    War with despair
    complaining that life isn't fair.
    not wanting to care.
    Good thing it was a dream.
    I awoke with my scream.
    jumped to my feet.
    To dance to the beat.
    Ready steady and
    capable of engaging
    with he battles of the day.
    Ready to say.
    Hello, my name is Anna
    and I'm an alcoholic.




    Submitted on 2005-10-28 09:58:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love how this gets fast and speeds into that ripper last line. very cool. and it definitely makes its point.... defeating an addiction is definitely a battle and it does kind of whirlwind down like the flow of this poem. The speed and flow in this makes me think of the downward spiral by Nine Inch Nails... not like the music on the album, just the title. Speaking of titles, I think it would be cool to have a more elusive title on this. Don't let us have an inkling of where you're heading so when we get to the end it hits twice as hard. good luck w/everything.
    jessica
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm assuming parabola was bragging on my title skills. LOL... I helped her with one of hers. So, for AA...this popped into my head...let me know what you think..

    Gateway Beyond Myself

    Or something along those lines. Something to show that you are walking through a different door to go beyond one's resources and reach out for help. Does that make any sense? lol... So that just popped into my head (yeah I know, this statement is redundant)...I'll see what I can come up with for tomorrow. :)
    | Posted on 2006-06-14 00:00:00 | by .:eVe:. | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi thank you for sharing this with us... I have a son with a drinking problem and I wrote a poem called "Addiction", if you would like to read it, it is posted here. It is truly a daily battle... The "I's" didn't bother me, but sure some could be left out... The title could be... Anna's Battle... or.. Hello, my Name is Anna.. .. Nicely done.. Desi
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Desi | [ Reply to This ]
      Title? 'Dark Tunnel' or 'Nectar'. Good write, though.

    "To dance to the beat.
    Ready steady and
    capable of engaging
    with he battles of the day"
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]


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