untitled
|
|
Description:
I know this is bad but can you tell it's clock? Any feedback would be nice, really.
untitled
I hate this job all I do is run around Of all the times and all the hours I hate 12 and all it's powers It starts the days and ends the nights calls to lunch and starts my frights I tick I tock and never rock I ding I dong time is too long You watch for 3:00 to get out of prison but I wait for my batteries' death cuz then I rest from this run till you replace the battery and restarts all the "fun" |
Submitted on 2005-10-28 17:03:28 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post
Comments
| I like. :o) This whole writing thing could be a lot of fun! Thanks for helpin' me get into the business. So i think this thing wants me to commment more about your thing.. Well I liked it. Very descriptive. Very you. Nice good. :-) | Posted on 2006-01-06 00:00:00 | by AmazingForever | [ Reply to This ] | pretty good, it's not your best but hey, pretty good. Try elaborating more, your lines are little off. The flow is really screwed but your getting somewhere with this | | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ] | You watch for 3:00 | to get out of prison but I wait for my batteries' death powerful statement and way to convey sadness (prison) it makes you think of why they arein prison(et cetera) amber and Im stalking you O-o | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ] | *towards.. | and good job by the way i really like this... i wrote of a clock in class as well amber (your all knowing, narcisistic pal) | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ] | Yes and everyone I know this man :) | What a gift you have given the literature world.. lol will anticipate more.. you draw me thwards the ellusive web :) ambz | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ] | |
79115