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Autumn's Breath

Author: Flamequill
ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77 /97 /35
Words: 41
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 844
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 277


I like this. I wrote it for Creative Writing. Does it convey good imagery? Does it show misery and loss?

Autumn's Breath

Autumn's breath howls upon me
cold and unaware,
I change to red
grasping my branch,
loosing my grip,
I lose my hold,
and fall to bed
I try,
oh I try
to get back up
but Autumn's breath howls upon me

Submitted on 2005-10-28 17:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Welcome and thank you for sharing with us your write. Is short and good. I also like the way you use trees loosing thier leaves. I never read anything quite like this. Very unique. Keep up the good work. I also look forward to reading more of your writing. I Also would like to know what your class thought and what kind of grade did you get on this write. Becca
| Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]
  Hi and welcome to Elite Skills... Yes this does show all the things you asked... I like how you used a tree losing its leaves to show the feeling of trying to hold on to something but grip is lost in the end.. .. Nicely done...looking forward to reading more of your work...Oh, and what kind of comments did you get from your creative writing class on this piece..? Thanks for sharing it with us... Desi...
| Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Desi | [ Reply to This ]

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