Description: Sorry I don't have any real description for this other than stress is definitely getting to me today and I had to make myself write something.
Hi there as you Americans say, I’m not English so my spellchecker comes in handy. Verbage is actually spelled verbiage and I have no problem with how you spell because it’s your playfield and you create your own magick. I use the word magick not magic for that same reason.
Very well constructed poem me thinks. I like the rhythm you create and your wayward way with words found a place in my heart. Comprehending another language places me in an advantage because from my language I visualize another language somewhat differently and that brings more colour into the perspectives.
Yes I agree, frustration isn’t just a descriptive word but also very cruel one and a dangerous symptom of our day. Rhymes with stress. I don’t understand the last stanza thought it doesn’t matter. Apparently a new sound of gladness came into your life. Keep well. Joachim.
Sitting and wishing- Thinking of all the things left undone and unconcerned. Perpetuity knows no hurry and apathy shows no interest.
This is a great verse. I love the place it takes me. Too much of life is about control and managing thing. This puts me in a still and quiet place. I think I know where that is.
I can relate to this very well...nicely written...i love how descriptive it is and the apt way that you portray stress and the changes that can occur in a person once under a great deal of stress...this poem completely describes what i have been feeling lately and the way i have also been at times...the second half spoke volumes to me:
Frustration brews; Red tears rise through leaf green; The status quo is broken and enough is too much.
The [censored] appears; the boundries move as a new voice is heard Unity is redefined.
I would say that this is one of the best venting pieces i've read in along time ;) the use of wide vocabulary means that you've expressed your wishes much more eloquently then would other wise have been possible
Perpetuosity knows no hurry and apathy shows no interest.
the anthropamorphic personification adds another depth with fantastic imagery whist the slightly unusual flow makes you have to concentrate wh en reading it i would say that
Red tears rise through leaf green; The status quo is broken and enough is too much
is a good use of traditional colloquial terms used to good effect which is always good to see nicely done xxAngelxx
A very, let's say, unique piece. The wording is excellent, and I love the imagery. I suggest you put in a line before Perpetuosity knows no hurry and apathy shows no interest.
cause it is a different verse from Sitting and wishing- Thinking of all the things left undone and unconcerned.
Apart from that I don't think there is much for me to consider, since I believe what you've written here is like a personal poem about many things put together. Good job.
Submission Name: Awakened
