Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: give me the beatdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: young p
    ASL Info:    14/m/N.O.La
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 29/31/11
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 617
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1507



    Description:
       just rappin. i was bored. it's not that good. tell me what u think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgive me the beatdots
    -------------------------------------------


    it's m y time to show u my skills
    y'all living rap fantasies, homie i'm real
    crush skulls with iron and steel
    crush dreams and step on petty ideals
    tackle titans, go down fighting
    swinging and biting
    trying to master my flow
    it's a disaster i know
    i'm more misunderstood, the faster i go
    the bastards should know
    that i'm the definition of the new generation
    i'm in position to to rule every nation

    i'm the hottest thing on the streets
    just give me the beat
    and i'll keep bringing the heat
    listen up elite
    the maker you'll meet
    won't have the answers u seek
    just give me the beat

    double team bitches with split personalities
    leaving casualties
    these pussies will never batter me
    too much heart
    keep fragile brothas in the dark
    lights out, this is the final bout
    last round
    keep ur head down
    the base drowns
    fake MCs and leave em
    2 miles under the ground
    it's young p, the straight g from N.O.
    it's me and i always keep my bitches in tow.

    i'm the hottest thing on the streets
    just give me the beat
    and i'll keep bringing the heat
    listen up elite
    the maker you'll meet
    won't have the answers u seek
    just give me the beat




    Submitted on 2005-10-28 21:17:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a really good poem. It had a nice flow and everythin. I bet if anybody can give you a beat, you'll come up wit somethin really damn fast. You're raps have so much meaning and you could probably be the voice of a new generation if you really work at it. It seems like you want to make a difference but nobody really tries.

    ~*~ Lisa ~*~
    | Posted on 2006-08-31 00:00:00 | by Nani | [ Reply to This ]
      look atlil peter comin out in the world wut his rhymin abilities good job boney keep up the good work young one lol peace ~1~
    | Posted on 2005-12-18 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]
      I think its pretty good man. It could use a nice coat of polish if you know what i mean. But overall its a really good rap. its got a good flow to it, i think. So i hear your with dark side right?
    Anyways...

    Duece,
    robbin hood
    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Robbing Hood | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice flow good intentions, but it seems like ive heard these flows somewhere else... But hey thats alright, it all depends on how you bring it, and nobody will truly know, until its a beat that everybody heres..

    But in all seriousness, all that [censored], with the b itches and hoes, and all the little ghetto fabulous talking..

    cmon b, It aint bout that, its about the music, the feeling, the story..

    anybody can throw a rhyme together about riding in a lac, 24's spinning, got these b itches in tow,"

    Im not saying that you said those exact words, but you were going towards that concept..

    But it does have potential, with a nice flow, keep writing man
    | Posted on 2005-12-08 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      this one brought you back. i really liked this one and its goot for a starter. i wanna wirte like you now!||><|| damn...well this was kick aSs!l8r babe

    Love Always,
    AZak
    | Posted on 2005-11-01 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      look at lil peter alright nicca u gettin betta and shyt that was nice betta then my work whne i was at this stage where u r good job nicca keap it up


    chaz ~1~
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]
      Eminem couldn't have done much better! I think the poem was well written. It seemed to have little thought and maybe the sort of poem you could look at and change every time but I think you would have a hard job making it any better.The wording says alot about you as a person in that 'you want to make it' and if you had the means, you would because you certainly have the potential. Great work.
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by litllost | [ Reply to This ]
      you always keep your b*tches in tow huh? boy u is to young to have b*tches.neway this rap was nice. i liked it. it had a nice flow.it was also easy to understand i see u have skills 2.

    ~Gena~
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed your poem. it was layed out well. and i liked how your flow was good and you had alot of good rhymes. i wuldnt change n e thing about it
    | Posted on 2005-10-28 00:00:00 | by Christina69 | [ Reply to This ]
      well duh emineim can do better its eminem this was nice and it had a lot of thought! dude ur retarded y u getting all in my eyes with all that crap! no one said i new u ! damn yall so sentitive! pissing me off anyway u r 2 young to have [censored]es cuz im a month and a day older dan u [censored]! ur 2 young! jk! this was good keep it up!
    ~akaila evonne~
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    79145

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry