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    dots Submission Name: Words at a distance (revised)dots

    Author: VanillaLeaves
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 101/110/23
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 833
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 918

       I got a heck of a lot of abuse for this poem so I revised so I can get a heck of a lot more abuse the second time around. Enjoy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWords at a distance (revised)dots

    Your Words are
    damp October leaves and
    pearls of maple sap
    and honey drops of reception
    squeezed out
    from a cell phone.

    Its electronic ring
    slinks into my ear canal and
    like a rain wet cat,
    shakes off droplets of sound
    that beat against my ear drum.
    I want to hear your voice.
    Itís there somewhere,
    tangled in the damp
    particles of evening fog,
    a spider with one
    translucent leg of sound
    resting delicately on my earlobe.

    Sometimes you speak
    with no phone at all,
    just whisper
    a hundred miles away
    and your chin on my shoulder.
    Your wisdom
    slips out
    from between your lips
    as an oak tree drops
    acorns in autumn
    when the crisp leaves
    peel away from the ripe
    blue sky.

    Submitted on 2005-10-30 13:24:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'll try not to give you alot of abuse because frankly I think it's a very good poem. I was thinking you were talking about someone you love that you don't hear from enough but who you hear in your head all the time. and her wisdom may not have been to speak to you anymore. hopefully not. hopefully you will hear from her always. excellent write.
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      A very touching an emotional write

    I took it as you were talking about the memory of a loved one wishing just one more time to hear them speak again
    I may be wrong but this is the feeling this write gave me
    Great Job
    It definately captures the emotion
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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