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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothingnessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: loveispain
    ASL Info:    23/f/ME
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 283/198/51
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 555
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1080



    Description:
       Whoo...I feel better now...haha...I don't know...boy troubles...but damn...ya know sometimes a girl just needs to be TOLD how much she's loved. Or at least give her a reason to believe she is....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothingnessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears slowly form in the corner of my eyes,
    My smile fades, and my heart rips at its seams.
    It's not the same as it was before.
    You tell me you love me,
    And your words, seem forced.
    The feeling once sensed behind them,
    Is replaced with emptiness,
    The bitter sound of nothingness.

    You're there, but then again, you're not.
    Through hundreds of miles of country,
    I see your eyes wander,
    I see your thoughts wander,
    And I feel your heart,
    Slipping further...and further,
    Away from mine.
    Then you speak, and I hear nothing but,
    The bitter sound of nothingness.

    Nothing's wrong, everything's fine.
    Say it over and over, hide from the truth.
    Tell me I'm crazy, tell me to forget it,
    But I won't ignore it.
    The marks on my face, from the slap
    Of everytime you open your mouth,
    Are imprinting...everlasting...still stinging with,
    The bitter sound of nothingness.




    Submitted on 2005-10-30 18:38:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmm...the thing is, if you have to WONDER then most of the time there is a reason. Sure, sometimes it will come as a comlete surprise and shock you, but most of the time there are red flags everywhere and instead of trying to cling to something you should open your eyes and let it go and move on.
    You are too young to hang your life on a love that you have to keep screaming, "hey, remember me? I'm over here..." if he's looking the other way and his mind isn't with you anymore and his words are forced...
    For every door that closes, another door opens...don't be afraid to let one swing shut on its own every once in awhile...

    just my opinion, of course, you can always tell me to shut the hell up

    Barbara
    | Posted on 2006-02-01 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Ms. Loveispain, Ms. Loveisspain

    This stanza by itself could break a domestic abuser down.

    Nothing's wrong, everything's fine.
    Say it over and over, hide from the truth.
    Tell me I'm crazy, tell me to forget it,
    But I won't ignore it.
    The marks on my face, from the slap
    Of everytime you open your mouth,
    Are imprinting...everlasting...still stinging with,
    The bitter sound of nothingness.

    I am a man and yes I can say that I have had many of my friends slap there girlfriends and tell them the next day to get over it. I have seen many of my girl friends come to me and tell me Birchel whoop my boyfriends ass for hitting me and not apologizing. I have actually made a couple [censored] on themselves but if they read this poem they would [censored] and piss on themselves. This is factual truth of how women feel today. You have crafted this poem in an inspiring way that leaves me in awe. Keep up the great work and I shall continue to study your writtings. The best ways to become one of the great writters is to suffer and study the writtings of others. Have a great day and continue to write those $50.00 a stanza pieces.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow what a fantastic write...it is very powerful and expresses your feelings well...i particularly love the last verse and the reference to a slap in the face of nothingness and the bitterness of its sting...very well written indeed! You have also captured well the way that nothingness can portray that something is defintely wrong and even if the person continues to deny and try to mask it..you can feel it sense...and know it all the same...well done!
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      "my heart rips at its seams", havent heard that one, it projected an image of a stiched up heart that was broken before. Very cool! I like the imagery and I really can relate (although I would be the guy). I know we are'nt supposed to say " I relate" or "liked the imagry" but I'm not going to twist my words, because they are the truth. Very good for a venting poem. You are quite talented.

    -Sethesin
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      this reminds me of a friend of mine. we used to be really good friends. he says he's my friend. but for months i haven't heared from him in my emails. i sent him some like months and months ago. still no answer. this is a very good write. i can relate to it but in different way though. i fell that this poem is written about the distance growing of a loved one. is that so.
    yes i must totally agree with you that a girl should be told that she is loved by her guy and vise versa.

    suzi
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by sushi wok | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well done!

    You have the emotion in there, and the despair of something you can't control, wow, I really really liked the way you did this, showing how ordinary actions can mask something that can be described as "nothing"

    Excellent work

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this was so powerful. I agree with you when you said that sometimes a girl just needs to hear how much she's loved. But guys just can't always see that. Unfortionatly, I can relate to this, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. You should talk to him about this, about how you need to hear how much he loves you. If he doesn't understand or do anything about it, maybe you'd be better off with someone else...As for the poem, it was beautifully written. Powerful, as I said earlier. It flowed well, and every line fit perfectly together. I'd say more, but I must go. Great write!
    ~Kriss
    | Posted on 2005-10-30 00:00:00 | by juss_kriss | [ Reply to This ]


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