A bloody turnstyle
A suddenly forced smile
jaded reactions
reactions of guile
I want you so badly
they said I made you sad
I contemplate you sadly
you lost me. Another fad
Free will stolen
a love unknown
greed still emboldened
a golden glove shown
the loss of passion
and the dying glow
i meant i know u as a person . . . not poem . . . damn i freakin tired. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i understand this poem - maybe cause i know you as a poem. it's alright. not that great though. you can do better. maybe the rhyming thing is getting in your way - try not rhyming. free flow. it comes more naturally i think not rhyming. lyrics in a song are different from poetry. but yeah. i guess you are kinda feeling what i'm feeling right now pissed, angry, jaded, some weird lust for some chick who u can't figure out, and [censored]. it's hard to let your creative juices flow sometimes. yeah. what was with that golden glove?
anyway, i have a few messages. jon wants you to contact him - he wants to give you a cd or something. and now that i have to drive an hour to just to hang out and play music and i have to load up my car with guitar and amp and drum set i understand how u used to feel when you used to come and jam. it's a [censored]. sorry.
I'm sorry I have to agree with the others, its confusing. But if your write was suppose to ma ke us all confused than you did a good job. Sorry you feeling confused hopefully you will feel better. Happy Halloween or have a good night. God bless
No Drea, you're right this is a confusing poem. I not sure what to think about this piece, I...get the feeling that...umm...well that...ok you know what i'm not going further confuse myself. I know this is going to seem harsh but i think you should comb through this piece and try to untangle it so we can make sense of it ok.
umm... yeah I thing confusing is the word to discribe this... but dont take my word for it cuz I am ssssooooooo out of it today. So, wait for a second opinion, befor eyou label it a confusing poem... oh wait thats right you already did. see I told you im out of it. Yeah but anywayz had I got Im sure I would have liked it...I think. Okay Im gonna stop typing now.
Submission Name: untitled
