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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Draineddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 566
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 651



    Description:
       Im trying to find myself again and this is what I kind of feel right now if this was not how I felt I wouldnt have written anything at all... so please read and comment and stare a little into my current train of thought


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDraineddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I been over used
    somewhat screwed
    and in the end
    I always lose

    This thing inside
    soaking the life
    making me feel
    like I was to die

    Now to never speak
    to feel that chill
    that crazy feeling
    that makes you ill

    I can't hold still
    and tears I spill
    I'm on the edge
    the anger sealed

    Never again
    shall feel the same
    and that's because
    my life has been drained

    So bring the cuffs
    and lock me up
    for my soul
    is ever lost





    Submitted on 2005-10-31 17:16:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey! Nice to see you are writing! Even though this is a sad poem, it is still expressing your feelings which is wonderful. Even in the toughest of times, there is always tomorrow. There is always a brighter side, you just have to find it. When life kicks you in the ass you just gotta kick back...that is all there is to it. Nothing lasts forever, even the tough times, and like everything else, this too shall pass. You need to try to look past this situation and see the world around you in a positive way. The world is there for you to take hold of. Be strong and continue to fight. We all go through these tough times...it is what makes you stronger. Take care of yourself and keep writing! Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-01 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.. I wrote a poem a lot like this a couple of days ago.. it was called 'Devoid'. Sheesh, and they're saying the same thing- ultimate depression. Have you noticed how all the depressed words start with 'd'? I mean, there's damned, depressed, devoid, drained, dead, deserted.. I could go on. Wow. Whoever invented all these words was either really stupid or extremely cryptical, making all these downing words start with a 'd'. Hmm.

    Something to think about.

    -T o x i c R o s e
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by Toxic Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      the population as a whole has a strong degree of predictability. As for the younger writers, putting their arguments against whoever or whatever they have emotional conflict with via first person freeverse(or simple rhymes) is more of a venting method(lots of 'pity me' poems). Putting the thoughts into words will create a stronger simplification of the problem at hand so that they can at least feel in control. Emotions can be manifested into static words for easier 'management'. Unfortunately many of the younger ones don't care to rewrite or try to add depth to their poem. They just use it as a method of directly voicing(spoon feeding) their thoughts to the reader without giving much to rhetoric. Personalizing the poem with personality, tone, imagery, etc- rhetoric, and indirectly stating the point gives the readers something(make their own conclusions/connections) to ponder about and thus give a stronger connection to the reader.
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by honus | [ Reply to This ]
      I have a hard time comming up with something for you! I am sure that you know what you are talking about... A certain situation... but I just don't get it... maybe you could give me some insight.
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by mon28 | [ Reply to This ]


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