Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Mothdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 528
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 722



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Mothdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I sit in the corner, covered up but I'm shakin
    I"m staring at a moth,I wonder what its thinkin
    I realize that my mind is lost and goin out
    wondering what a moth is thinkin about
    its back in my head now, it's speaking to me
    still shakin,vision is faded, because I can't see
    It's telling me about how it's been alive for many years
    and how its seen me shed so many tears
    it seen that dude hit my dad and how it drove me crazy
    and how that reflects upon how I treat ladies
    now its done talking and I've stopped shakin so its time to fall asleep
    I pass out a peaceful dream falls upon me and creeps





    Submitted on 2005-10-31 21:45:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      lol! i agree with Troy totally! this was awesum tho and i liked it! not many people refer to moths as something they talk about...but i guess moths are kinda creepy...so i guess that skool1! ne ways loved it!

    Amber
    | Posted on 2005-11-13 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      the most popular symbolism for the moth is change. I'm sure if you have seen "Silence of the Lambs" you would remember the dialogue of the good DR. Lecter. however the moth can also stand for the crucifixion of Christ. i do not know if that would apply to this write, but i thought id offer a few things to connect "Dad" to the "moth" now the Dad in this context seems to be your Dad and not any spiritual father. the moth also represents death or misfortune so maybe that is more accurately represented in your poem as its significance. i think its a good piece. but the pieces of the puzzle in this are not complete, perhaps you have laid them out throughout your other writes. i have learned that to be the case in solving some mysteries. other things i have learned in that the comments sometimes provide the key to unlocking the poem. but its hard to know with any accuracy until the person doing the commenting has a chance to look at those thank you notes people left behind. also this does bring up a problem for me, anyway, for i do not want to cheat on these but give my "blind" comments. in honesty i committed a "comment sin" when i looked at the comment first then i made my comment for that i apologize. it has lead me to try to authenticate the moth and Dad connection. but still back to the puzzle pieces. one: is your father still alive? two: how did the tragic event effect your attitude with ladies, i believe that is missing too. those two missing pieces that i am able to catch. this is a heart wrenching write i hope your heart is healing and wish you blessings.

    ~mike
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      now this was some weird [censored]. u were talking to a moth? did this really happen or were u just kinda looking at a moth and wondering it's train of thought. it was good, but how did u go from the moth to talking about ur dad?
    | Posted on 2005-11-01 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    79466

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry