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    dots Submission Name: Which Matters Moredots

    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Prose/Friendship
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1492

       Good heavens. A poem about David Cullen. Who would've thought. Yeah, I'm weirded out too. This is my attempt at Hemingway-esque prose. Don't make fun of it, it's only an attempt.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhich Matters Moredots

    The floor felt different today
    as the boy pounded his frustration
    into the stale, harvest oxygen around us.
    The tiles were powdery
    beneath my loose Adidas. And he complained
    with those haughty eyes and his
    sleek basketball shorts making a
    hushing sound as he slid on the floor.
    He lay there in his -momentary?- failure.
    His eyes peeling away layers of the ceiling,
    unblinking at the fluorescent lanterns.
    And with that gaze open I could see
    a boy who loved the game and loved
    to try (to try) and love and held his head
    above the clouds but kept his heart
    below the ground and held me with
    such esteem because of where I'm from
    and I saw his loneliness and his fury and his
    worry and I saw into him and I saw--
    --a boy. (which matters more
    than all my previous rambling.)
    I wanted to go to him, make him stand.
    Instead I watching him sink into the floor
    until he rose on now powdery legs.
    I could have comforted him. But I think
    that while he holds me up high, he is still
    afraid of me. He does not touch me.
    As though I am surrounded by a shield of perfection,
    intangible. He looks at me with a
    broken heart, touches with such
    dispassionate manner. So much that
    I fear I might lie down with him in the dust
    and let the powdery tiles be our
    only connection.

    Submitted on 2005-11-01 22:05:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Such emotion compiled into this write. I am over here wondering first off...who this person is...and second off...how to help! LOL

    Girl, you seem to have a lot going on internally right now. I hope that you can come to better days and that others will follow.

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Goodness. Is this meant to be "read into"? Are you just talking about PE, plain and simple, or...is something going on with him... Now you have me worried. Anyway, well done dahling. Let me know the story behind this piece. As for the Hemingway part, I'm ashamed to say that I've not read any Hemingway, so I wouldn't be able to compare this to his work. Later.
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]

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