hmmm...i guess i'm not sure waht to think. i know thats not the best criticism but seriously, i'm not quite sure what this is supposed to be about necessarily. i understand it's about someone you love, but i feel as though it's very random and choppy, almost. it's definitely not bad or anything, you use some wonderful adjectives and portray love well, i just feel as though there's no rhyme or reason to it. (not that i want it to rhyme, cuz i actually dont care for rhyming poems much)
I thought this was kind of strange, but in a very good way. I got a feeling of immense lust from your words, calculating a level of pleasured torment. Anticipation can really hurt sometimes, especially for a man. Just the thought of it makes me cringe a little. After reading this I think I am about to go find my girlfriend. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of how much I enjoy my girlfriend.
This is a wonderful way to describe a woman leaning on her "lover" to do the best for both of them. I enjoyed the descriptive words that were used and the fact that you never said anything straight-forward. But I think it would have made more of an impact if it wouldn't have been so strong and so short.. I think it would benefit by knocking out some of the strong emotion that was giving so abrupt, by keeping the emotion strong, long and at a steady pace. That is a mere opinion and I will enjoy it either way. keep writing