This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: Jinxed
ASL Info:    18/f/az
Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 23 /21 /14
Words: 68
Class/Type: Poetry /Angry
Total Views: 826
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 507


I would like to know where I'm going with this poem. I started writing it today while I was in a class. The meaning is right out there I guess. It is a ventful poem. Angsty


Turn up the silence,
drown out sound so sweetly
take in deafness
with provation.

the trying dying world
so innocent with no sound.
It will return full blast
you won't reach your destination.

it, it, it,
Screeching of things leeching
mix in deafness
with unyielding hearing

it will make the thoughts
less somber
it will make the hurt
less stronger

be quiet.

Submitted on 2005-11-02 23:01:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Is this a poem about going deaf? That's the vibe that I ended up getting from it. If that's the case, I like that concept a lot. If that's not the case... oh well, I like the poem anyway.

It was a bit repetitive at times, but not the kind of repetitive that was annoying, the kind of repetitive that added to the mood and overall feel of the poem, and power, I guess you could say. I wish you had made it longer though, because the concept could be even better if the poem was a little longer.

Overall, besides a few spelling errors, it's a very well done poem. Good job!

| Posted on 2006-02-18 00:00:00 | by Trifecta | [ Reply to This ]
  I think I commented on someone else's piece that had a lot to do with silence and I went on and on about how powerful silence is. Amazing how hard it can be to find silence, I know I can hardly ever find silence and I usually have to drown out all of this other noise with music in my ears. I think it's amazing how I have to go out of my way to find a minute of peace and quiet.

Anyways, I really like this, I agree that the silence and the taking a step back from problems and life can be very helpful. And actually it makes me kind of think that I need to do that myself. I think that I avoid silence on purpose because I don't always want to actually admit to the problems I face.
| Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by waffuru | [ Reply to This ]
  hey! very spontaneous, restless yet flowing poem you have here! I really enjoyed reading this. I think it grabs the reader right at the neck with the opening line, "Turn up the silence" - very clever use of an oxymoron! I think the quality of this piece of writing lies in the fact that you wrote it in a venting style... I am not always a fan of such a style, but I must commend you for your efforts with this one! It almost seems like the persona is taking a drug - silence - and it sweetly drowns away the noise around him, a sense of pleasure in the silence. and then there's the feeling of anger, just lashing out wildly at the sounds and noises. Well, overall, I only have one complaint - the spelling of "dieing" should be "dying". heh, sorry, I can be petty with these kind of things. anyway, this was a good write! You didn't make it too prolonged, or too brief, it was just fitting!
| Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by zhi wei | [ Reply to This ]
  Interesting piece. I like the simplicity of it, as I often do with poetry about anger. Silence can almost be deafening, I know what you mean. I like the comparison, a loud quiet, it is very true. Silence can be healing or destructive, in your case it seams to be healng. People who sit in silence will often think about too many things because there is nothing else around to destract them from thier thoughts. It can really bring a person down, like the Son Of Sam. He sat in silence a lot and after awhile his dog started talking to him, told him to kill. It can drive a person crazy, delusional or depressed. Silence is also good to reflect, think about the events of days past. You can work out many of your own problems with no noisy interruptions. It can be calming and unthreatening, just relax and close your eyes. Silence for many is a better way to count to 10 when they are angry or frusterated.
Very simple and understandable, nicely done.

Take care,
| Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by crowded_mind | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey! My gripe (get this out of the way), Spelling!!! dying (unless it is spelt in a different where you come from). But thats about it! :) I enjoyed the simpleness of this poem, it has the feel of a very spontaneous write, which can sometimes be a sink or swim occasion and for my particular tastes in writing, it swims. Oh another thing, I'm not too sure about the line :it, it, doesnt feel like it fits well with the rest of the writing scheme, however that could be just me. :)
| Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Watchman | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?