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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Not Anymoredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zu
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 446/379/76
    Words: 355
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 909
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2231



    Description:
       well this is the third part that describes me and my first girlfriend's relationship. i finally got the courage to ask her out, we went out for a while. she fell in love with my best friend, and well i still loved her...

    i just stopped loving her... somehow... i talked to her after a long time, and i just realised she's only human after all (i moved to the states, she's still in india). so thats how this came to be.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNot Anymoredots
    -------------------------------------------


    I put those memories back on shelves
    Reminders of an illusion I lived
    I fought and won against myself
    Won back again my will to live…

    She was so real and yet so fake
    All the time I spent with her
    Was only an illusion…

    And I still loved her…

    Her image never faltered
    I took all the pain on me
    Just to see her again…

    But it was only me…

    The clowns dance on the walls,
    How, I will never know
    You made me do the same
    Loving me from head to toe
    Your eyes sparkled like jewels
    Gleamed silently, never knew
    How you were so beautiful
    And yet so cruel…

    I had you… and I lost you…
    You still had me though…
    You still had me in your magic
    But not anymore!

    I thought she was with me
    Mine and only mine
    But it was only an illusion…

    And she was never mine…

    I didn’t understand why
    She easily said goodbye
    I loved her, don’t know why…

    Never could say goodbye…

    The clowns dance on the walls,
    How, I will never know
    You made me do the same
    Loving me from head to toe
    Your eyes sparkled like jewels
    Gleamed silently, never knew
    How you were so beautiful
    And yet so cruel…

    I had you… and I lost you…
    You still had me though…
    You still had me in your magic
    But not anymore!

    I loved how
    You made my world stand still (stand still)
    But right now
    Have no need for your thrill (your thrill).
    I saw you
    Finally just human (human)
    It is true
    Free from your illusion (illusion)…

    The clowns dance on the walls,
    How, I will never know
    You made me do the same
    Loving me from head to toe
    Your eyes sparkled like jewels
    Gleamed silently, never knew
    How you were so beautiful
    And yet so cruel…

    I had you… and I lost you…
    You still had me though…
    You still had me in your magic
    But not anymore!




    Submitted on 2005-11-02 23:11:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      its amazing how a poem or a song can reach out to you when you've never met the people involved. I can understand the anger you felt at first, and showed well in this, and it was relieving yet painful to realize that she was just human. excellent concept, and written pretty damn well if I do say so.
    "How you were so beautiful
    And yet so cruel…"
    I love this line, it makes me think of this guys smile that is just so nice to look at, then I think I know what those lips can do to me and how I feel once he's gone and it just hurts. anyways I liked the line about magic too, and how your heart was still with her. beautiful.

    -steph
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good write and would surely make a very good song. Love is so hard and especially when the relationship ends and you still harbor feelings for the person that has hurt you. Love is a strange feeling and probably will never be fully understood. I think your song is one that many of us can relate to. Such a wonderful feeling when you realize you are finally over the feelings and have gained control over your life again. This is a very good write. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude, this is more like it! [see my other comment] Serious, un-cut, unforced emotion. Something about this write lept off the computer screen and hit me and I was left speechless for a while. Have you heard of In Flames? Well if not, this reminded me of them A LOT.

    Another thing about this write was that every line reminded me of a different band, and a different style of lyrics. I could pick a few out now, and see if you get the connections:

    -"I loved how, you made my world stand still (stand still)"- Bullet for My Valentine
    -"You still had me in your magic."- Megadeth
    -"I put those memories back on shelves."- reminds me of MusingMinstrel for some reason

    That's just a few but I really really really enjoyed this piece, man. Casting off the shackles of something and breaking out like "I'm me and there's nothing anyone can do about it." Actually, I probably sound stupid but I honestly can't explain what I'm feeling coherently. Ok, another part I like was the human/illusion rhyme, again, powerful as hell. Great work, man!

    Hope we talk soon,
    James
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the emotion here. the one thing i hate is clowns they scare me so those parts were personally desturbing but i loved the first four lines...
    I put those memories back on shelves
    Reminders of an illusion I lived
    I fought and won against myself
    Won back again my will to live…
    if you could check out my poetry and leave me some comments that would be great :)
    xoxoxo
    Reeses
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by Numb | [ Reply to This ]
      Pretty pissed off. I love it. Especially the part about having to fight and win against yourself in a situation like this. Glad to see you're still writing the lyrics and still rocking. Hows the band?
    ~Musing
    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi zuey...this song is like a milestone...truly because it helped you get over something that i personally thing wasnt ever good enough for a guy like you. Even if it did take rather long for it to fade away, the point is it did, and thats what matters. Try putting a progressive rythym to it on the bass, something like what we made up with LArry. U could do with a decent chorus, cuz the words are all just rite...u could change the syllables maybe
    rock on...great job!
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by mihir | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude yay!. When i read the pm i was literally smiling, soo fu cking happy for you. The feeling i get is that there was a lot of pain which dissapated when u talked to atu. I also feel that it took a lot of courage to talk to her and that deserves admiration. Its kinda how i used to liked ruchi, i realised that i didnt, it was kinda just the idea for her and i can totally understand the pain u went through and its good that its out of your system. As far as the song goes, its a masterpiece to me coz i know the whole story. I didnt understand:The clowns dance on the walls, but i guess it means that u didnt know how u became so in love with her.
    A great write on the whole and its nice to know that u were "hopelessly hers" but "not anymore"
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by Gautam | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey fantastic writing that flowed into what could be a really great song

    I kinda got the feeling you didnt start this off as a song and then went back and reworked it some

    It flowed really good and i can see a band like Anthrax(THEY JUST REUNITED)
    doing this song
    Great Job
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      As far as todays songs go that was pretty good. What genre would it be, judging from the picture I assume it would be a ballad rock song, if so good choice.
    The lifting of illusion is a very hard thing for people to do, especially one as young as you. You were able to see that you were in love with the idea of this girl, not the actual person, I'm very glad you can do that. It is often hard to get over a lover, even harder to get over yourself. This piece described a situation I was in a while back so it really does mean something to me. In my case though the beautiful idea of this girl wasn't in love with my friend. She was trapped in a relationship with an abusive scum bag, which is even harder to let go. I am very glad you shared this with us, thank you and keep on writing.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by crowded_mind | [ Reply to This ]


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