I loved it all even the lines from Jet :) ...but the second verse doesnt fit the rest of the piece...and it sounds a little forced to say the least...
You used to laugh, and joke around. Now all you do is make me frown.
if you could work on that it would be a fantastic write...but thats just my thoughts...if it expresses your feelings which it clearly does and you are happy with it then thats all that matters...stormy
This is a good solid poem. It clearly expresses your thoughts and feelings. It is funny how people change the longer you know them isnt it? It is all this fakeness that makes relationships so challenging. You never know if you are looking at the person they really are or the person they want you to see. And the worst part is, it takes a long time usually before the real person comes out and by then, your feelings are at risk. I always say, just be you. They are either gonna like ya or they wont. Pretending is for children. And...its bullsh it! Glad to read you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and get rid of the headaches. Otherwise, they just get worse. A very good write. take care.
That was nice! although it was very short, i don't see anything missing here. I enjoyed reading it although obviously the mood was kinda harsh towards the person at the receiving end of your words. The rhyming was perfectly done and so was its flow ^_^ i don't have to know much in order to know that the root of this is love... just something i'd like to share, when in love, we make ourselves vulnerable to the person we love. So even a little misunderstanding may turn out larger than it seems. Guess what i'm saying is... don't over react unless/until you have a clear view of the problem.Anyway...Great write! hope to read more from you ^_^