[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Cold-hearted B*tchdots

    Author: smlaw
    ASL Info:    18/m/ny
    Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 56/37/10
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 538

       i tried to censor myself, but figured i just had to put it out there.

    and want to site Jet for the last line!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCold-hearted B*tchdots

    My love for you came easy
    because you made me feel at home.
    But lately you've been treating me poorly
    and I just want you to leave me alone.

    You used to laugh,
    and joke around.
    Now all you do
    is make me frown.

    I try to bring a smile
    to your face.
    But you don't laugh
    but just snap at me with disgrace.

    I thought I loved you,
    I thought it could be.
    But you're a cold-hearted b*tch
    and now I see.

    Submitted on 2005-11-03 08:14:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved it all even the lines from Jet :) ...but the second verse doesnt fit the rest of the piece...and it sounds a little forced to say the least...

    You used to laugh,
    and joke around.
    Now all you do
    is make me frown.

    if you could work on that it would be a fantastic write...but thats just my thoughts...if it expresses your feelings which it clearly does and you are happy with it then thats all that matters...stormy
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good solid poem. It clearly expresses your thoughts and feelings. It is funny how people change the longer you know them isnt it? It is all this fakeness that makes relationships so challenging. You never know if you are looking at the person they really are or the person they want you to see. And the worst part is, it takes a long time usually before the real person comes out and by then, your feelings are at risk. I always say, just be you. They are either gonna like ya or they wont. Pretending is for children. And...its bullsh it! Glad to read you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and get rid of the headaches. Otherwise, they just get worse. A very good write. take care.

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      as much as women love a bad boy, the same is true for the bad girl! she wasnt worth your time. spend that energy and creative passion on someone who appreciates you...good luck!

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      That was nice! although it was very short, i don't see anything missing here. I enjoyed reading it although obviously the mood was kinda harsh towards the person at the receiving end of your words. The rhyming was perfectly done and so was its flow ^_^ i don't have to know much in order to know that the root of this is love... just something i'd like to share, when in love, we make ourselves vulnerable to the person we love. So even a little misunderstanding may turn out larger than it seems. Guess what i'm saying is... don't over react unless/until you have a clear view of the problem.Anyway...Great write! hope to read more from you ^_^
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Fallen One | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]