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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: It's All So...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 754



    Description:
       I don't really have anything for this. It just overcame me this morning, so I wrote it down.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt's All So...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's all so black that she wonders
    If it will ever be white again.
    She's washing her hands of all the shame,
    And the taste of that original sin.

    It's all so dark that she prays
    That there will be some kind of light.
    She's lost the will to open her eyes,
    The urge to take a stand and fight.

    It's all so cold that she weeps.
    The warmth has fled this shell.
    She's plainly bewildered, cause she never knew
    It could be this cold in hell.

    It's all so sad that she can't help but wish
    That she could smile once more.
    She feels the pain of that empty space.
    She wonders what her heart was for.




    Submitted on 2005-11-03 08:59:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      To me it sound like you are reaching out to someone anyone to help you overcome this deep feeling of gloom that is controling your emotions
    All i can say is positive thoughts and positive energy is the key to happiness

    I will pray for you

    Stay strong

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that the last two stanzas are the strongest...I love the line about the not knowing that it could be so cold in hell...it reminds me of when momma says that she thinks that hell would be cold anyways...I mean you know she doesn't believe in hell but that's what she says...I think I am gonna show this poem to Mrs. German/Payton...I think she would agree with me on the last two stanzas.


    Great job and you didn't even tell me to read this one you silly thing.

    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds as though someone has crossed paths with an earth shattering loss and the vampiric effect of having the life/happiness/desire/ hope sucked out of them. The aftereffects of something like that would truly be cold, lonely and confusing. This was very well composed and requires no editing, as far as I'm concerned. Very, very nice.
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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