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    dots Submission Name: Portrait of The Artistdots

    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 784
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1024

       This began as a simple study of two themes, the ever changing meaning of words (a la Gertrude Stein), and the overwhelming self importance of critics who hope to destroy young artists rather than nurture them (a la a college colleague who delighted in putting down first timers).

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPortrait of The Artistdots

    Robert-bright fame
    Junior-second in a series;
    What's in a name?

    A rose is a rose
    is an orchid
    is an onion...

    Life is an eclectic
    dilemma's tumbling
    card edge caressing
    a wavering shape within
    a dome of snow.

    Rain embraced
    the earth,
    I'd embrace air
    the same way
    suicides cling
    to tunnels of sunlight
    they'd hoped might
    dissolve their traipsing
    misery, drawn from
    a tumbling perch.
    I'd cusp the sun
    until I burst
    in flame bright
    filaments, draw strength
    from alphabetized
    kindling, a Phoenix
    by another name.

    Before the critic
    cursed the muse
    for weaving words
    she hadn't earned,
    an icy chill snapped
    off his tongue with
    mantras hell
    had never heard.

    Submitted on 2005-11-03 16:27:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Considering the fact that you took the time out of your day to critique my piece Decay, the least I can do is comment on one of your own pieces. *smiles*
    I would like to thank you for that comment you gave by the way... I very much appreciated it.

    It's probably because I'm a bit of an artist myself is why I truly chose to read this piece. However, actually, it also seems to me that when anybody merely wants to return a comment/critique, they settle for what's on the front of the person's profile (the twenty most recently written pieces).
    I decided to look at all the previous writes you had done past the 'twenty most recent.' That's when I stumbled upon this piece.

    Anyhow, I did find this piece to be quite moving, in a sense. You wrote about such a variety, but still maintained a constant.
    All the beautiful connections through the wording protrayed imagery, pleasant imagery.
    Even though this piece only started with two themes, I feel that it finished with more. The feelings it leaves you with makes you think about what an artist goes through. Yes, they go through both change and harsh critisism. Sometimes, however, if not all the time, they go through much more than that.
    I am an artist, that's what I consider myself. Therefore, I do feel, know, many of these feelings.
    I am an artist in many ways.
    My ability to write as an artist is slowly developing, but despite the fact that I am not the best, I can feel it.
    My passion as a painter, a potter, a performer... those I do not easily struggle with. I feel them.

    I guess all that I was trying to say, with all that unnecessary blah blah, was that I understand this. In saying all that I had said, I was merely attempting to show precisely how 'moving' the piece was.

    I enjoyed this write.
    Thank you again for your most appreciated critique on Decay.

    Take care.

    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by purely_complex | [ Reply to This ]
      In relation to what you wrote, I have had this experience where I am chewed down because of my abilities and when I come to look at that person's work...it's just as bad as mine.

    When a person is put down for their creation, it is a known fact that they have the potential to achieve. Jealousy and envy go a long ways and it can destroy lives, views, and aspirations.

    Many well known poets and poetess have become famous for their works after committing suicide. Their talent exceeds the knowledge and undertanding of those without vision. Poetry is a visual art...not many understand this concept. When you write a poem with certain symbols and change structure certain people begin to fuss about this and that.

    My piece "Forever Striving Women" is very unique in structure which adds to the underlying meaning of my write on this particular piece. Diversity in writing is essential as well as simplicity. The key is to be original in all aspects and this part of creativity is what others cannot stand. That college buddy needed a wake up call...

    Love Saby~*~
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by CaramelCandy | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very good poem. I really like the message in this poem. It is indeed true that everyone's talent and beauty needs to be nurtured to allow it to grow, and there is a fine line between constructive critisism and being discouraging. I think your word choices throughout this poem are excellent. Really good expression in this. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. I thought this was awesome too. would you be an artist? I seem to have had that impression. also, one is always on my mind since I met him last year. but that's another story. this is a really good poem. I will read more of yours soon.
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      I understand this quite well. sometimes it feels like the first time you do anytihng, you have to be perfect or someone will come up and strangle whatever was there to begin with. A nice piece, well though-put and very well written. Excellent.

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the words you used in this poem
    You were able quite easily to capture my imagination and bring me back to ancient Roman times
    Very Good Write
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree on both points. As usual, I was very interested after reading your description, and wasn't disappointed.
    Some nice little caustic moments in here, I find this sort of cynicism somewhat soothing in a way.

    A very interesting, thought-provoking wrie, and quite excellent

    be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      that last stanza is awesome.

    i would recommend one thing

    having "mantras hell" on the same line makes it very difficult to associate properly.

    great write

    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by huntingjonathon | [ Reply to This ]

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