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Author: neonlights
ASL Info:    20, male, europe
Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 145 /133 /59
Words: 108
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 920
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 762



Voice, why don't you speak?
Silence, why won't you listen?
Eternal, shimmering light the new day brings
Burning promises and gifts

Void, forgive those who fail to understand
Cry, They can't hear
A lonely boy surveys te desert land
Congratulations! We 've built a city out of copper.

They call them moons
And they call them stars and comets and planets
If they could only see the
Desperate souls of men gulping in despair...

Afar! Afar!
Boy, please don't cry
The tears become specs of dust
And the word, "forever", casts the shadow of fear

Alas, You are not alone ...

Submitted on 2005-11-04 15:56:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  ...Ok, maybe I really missed the point of this and I shouldn't, but I don't really understand what happens. I'm not saying it's bad though. It's like when you listen to songs in foreign languages, or a song that you know you relate to, but you can't really follow it, but you still love it. That's how I feel. It's good.
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked this poem a favorite stanza was
'Afar! Afar!
Boy, please don't cry
The tears become specs of dust
And the word, "forever", casts the shadow of fear'

I loved the structure of this poem...It was very origional. This poem had a lot of really good imagry...I loved how it didn't focus on one main idea...or if it did...the way it used so many different anologies...
Over all I just really liked this poem...
Very good job...

Blessed be...
...Sage Unadorned...
| Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]

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