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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ode to the Moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Chihuahuii
    ASL Info:    16/f/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    3.65 - 75/90/36
    Words: 240
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 735
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1462



    Description:
       The one for me is in the sky.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOde to the Moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I haven’t been the type to run away, at least not lately.
    My dreams I keep apart, like to be a movie star,
    A diamond in the sky, a songstress with a sapphire eye.
    All lies in mind…but let the solstice rise…

    La Lune steals light, swipes space, swipes heart
    and concentration, midnight hour
    I close my eyes, La Lune and I are gone for all the night—
    Dreaming with La Lune.

    Though diamonds last forever, icy highlights on your wrist,
    How could one imagine a night just like this
    Without La Lune to shine upon the surface, make the diamonds glow
    And radiate, faerie spotlights, odes to the secrets of the sky.
    Heartbreak in a woman’s eye consoled by soothing lunar tide
    And I, confused, don’t realize,
    The love I seek stands not on mortal grounds, shakes no head of hair,
    Stands not on tall or brazen legs, my heart has said,
    Has spoken, whispered in my diamond-tinkling ear,
    And told me why the full moon strikes me dumb.

    La Lune is my diamond, God’s gift for the lost,
    Too big for my finger, a trillion millimeter,
    So I share it—look, don’t touch—in the sky,
    My sky, and my Moon,
    My image of a perfect prince dissolved, his mellow voice
    And calming touch like tainted wisps of air
    As the diamonds in my eyes dance in the sky,
    My sky, dreaming with La Lune.




    Submitted on 2005-11-04 21:52:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A truly awesome write.

    I think I need to go outside for a time and gaze at that glowing orb.

    I haven’t been the type to run away, at least not lately.
    My dreams I keep apart, like to be a movie star,

    Perhaps one day your dreams will run to you.

    Keep dreaming and writing great lines!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Such extraordinary talent @ such the age of 15... your piece is beautiful. I know I'm to give feedback instead of compliment but what feedback am I to give on a piece that is unable to improve my any means? Your writing flows together perfectly. My fav. line, " The love I seek stands not on mortal grounds.."
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by Tonya V. | [ Reply to This ]
      Very beautiful

    I also love the moon
    as to me the moon and the stars are Gods way of letting us know we are never truefully in the dark

    Take Care
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my writings and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh gods, this is so beautiful...I can't even put it in words. Beauty just doesn't describe the feeling I get from this. I love the moon, or La Lune, Luna, Dianis, whatever you call it. I sit by my window at night for hours, just staring at the moon.

    Your words are just so powerful, and they describe more than just a silver-white disk, your words make the moon into a person, and even more than that. I love the lines:

    "Without La Lune to shine upon the surface, make the diamonds glow
    And radiate, faerie spotlights, odes to the secrets of the sky.
    Heartbreak in a woman’s eye consoled by soothing lunar tide"

    I can't even describe the image those words put in my mind. It's one of those things that, if you painted it or tried to put it onto paper in any way, you might get just a tiny piece of what you can see in your mind.

    This is so amazing, I can't even say anything more about it other than WOW.

    Cheers,
    Azael
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]
      This astoundingly beautiful
    i love the line

    "And calming touch like tainted wisps of air
    As the diamonds in my eyes dance in the sky,"

    it captures feelings to potently the imagery is wonderful and with so much passion
    an Ode to La Lune has never been so fitting
    xxAngelxx
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by The_Angelic_Dea | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very beautiful...I have to say that I also enjoyed the second part better but in all honesty the whole poem was wonderful. This is really an intresting thought because I know how some things can give you a joy, peace of mind and tranquility that no man ever could...This was pretty easy to relate to and the structure and ryhthem were great. I have to say the imagry just tied it all together perfectly. I would say this poem is a love one but I think it goes even deeper than that...when I'm experiencing the feeling you described I really don't think "love" is a sufficient explanation. here I thought I was the only fool who thought about such things well anyway this was very nicely written...I enjoyed it alot and look forward to reading more from you in the future. as far as this one I am going to add it to my favorites.
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really nice although i have to say that i like the second part much better...very beautifully written...

    Though diamonds last forever, icy highlights on your wrist,
    How could one imagine a night just like this
    Without La Lune to shine upon the surface, make the diamonds glow
    And radiate, faerie spotlights, odes to the secrets of the sky.
    Heartbreak in a woman’s eye consoled by soothing lunar tide
    And I, confused, don’t realize,
    The love I seek stands not on mortal grounds, shakes no head of hair,
    Stands not on tall or brazen legs, my heart has said,
    Has spoken, whispered in my diamond-tinkling ear,
    And told me why the full moon strikes me dumb.

    La Lune is my diamond, God’s gift for the lost,
    Too big for my finger, a trillion millimeter,
    So I share it—look, don’t touch—in the sky,
    My sky, and my Moon,
    My image of a perfect prince dissolved, his mellow voice
    And calming touch like tainted wisps of air
    As the diamonds in my eyes dance in the sky,
    My sky, dreaming with La Lune.
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      La lune est magnifique, madamoiselle. Tres bon. You are no doubt seeking the touch mere mortals can't possibly possess and only natural sensation can approach. This reminds me of every time I've looked into the sky and touched the vast face of God in a rapture of experience that can't be explained. This is much more than love, this is drowning in a form of beauty that can only be reflected in the words you've written. Very nice.
    | Posted on 2005-11-05 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      What a beautiful poem and I would say this is really a love poem. and love poems are my favorite especially when they are as well written as this one is. I truley enjoyed read'n this poem...
    !doc`
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      this is gorgeous.. the dreamy quality puts me
    in a place. i love the image of the moon as
    "God's gift for the lost." beautiful sentiment.

    My image of a perfect prince dissolved, his mellow voice
    And calming touch like tainted wisps of air

    exquisite lines.

    this is a great ode for La Lune.
    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-11-04 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Such a beautiful poem this is.
    Your writing-talent shows in each line.
    It makes one feel "in tune with the moon".

    Thanks for sharing your romance of La Lune.

    Just lovely,
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]



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