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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Sock Epicdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1025
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 566



    Description:
       This is still pretty rough, so suggestions are welcome. I admit I had fun writing this. Hey, it would be hard to kill a sock, but I thought the heel would probably do it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Sock Epicdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If I could find my soul mate
    would we twine ourselves together
    like a pair of argyle socks
    trying to swim jointly
    through life's roughest seas
    (or the washing machine)?
    Would the world toss us about
    as if it were a violent tumble dryer
    separating us
    you at the bottom of a drawer,
    me at the bottom of a smelly hamper
    pining for each other
    until our epic journey
    found us reunited, discarded,
    or slaughtered like Achilles
    with holes in our heels?




    Submitted on 2005-11-06 05:53:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      reference to Argyles....bravo!

    and Achilles' Heel...very smart..

    i like the analogy of lovers to separated socks...

    if only we could find our way back together, baby, cause you turn me inside out....

    what fun this was to read.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-09-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I saw this as on Swanne's fav list and had to read this one myself. I loved the metaphors and imagery of this one. I didn't see anything wrong right off if at all. I usaully get holes in my toes of my socks...maybe I'm wearing them wrong. lol. This showed with simple everyday wear and tear of a sock how similar love can be under emotional were and tear of life. Great job. I loved this Amy.

    Trina
    | Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      it was the title that caught my eye...(after all your adorable cats..that is)
    for the most part, I enjoyed this...it had a very original feel...the ending was clever...the heels are always the first to go on socks...
    although related to the poem...I didn't quite like the way this seemed to fit in...
    "through life's roughest seas
    (or the washing machine)?".... to me it should be either or...because the metaphor is already there...
    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      oooooh my gosh, this is such a fresh take on love and so carefree and "cute". I love it! It was a very sweet piece and the flow was great! I love how you used Achilles because I thought of two things, Achilles in the whole Trojan War ordeal and then the Achilles tendon, which is on the foot (... right? I don't want to sound stupid, but anatomy is so not my thing). It was great how you used Achilles and my brain kind of went in two directions...
    I'm adding this to my faves! ;)
    | Posted on 2006-07-13 00:00:00 | by themonalisa | [ Reply to This ]
      LOL. I loved this piece-I thought it was hillarious yet serious. I honestly don't think anybody else has compared soulmates to matching socks, which is unfortunate because, as you've shown, there could be many similarities. Great job with the imagery and everything else. Keep up the great work.
    J
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a good poem and the Achilles heel threw me a little untill i read the next line
    "with holes in our heels?''
    then i understood how you took something sorta more serious and mixed it in this poem that made me understand i like how you took somthing so funny (as a missing sock) and gave it a double meaning

    good write,
    claire
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]
      ah but how cold one foot is without the other sock. Kind of like how one lover feels without the other. And everyone knows a lost sock is hard to find. Such is true with a lover. Good poem

    Drew
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by vax | [ Reply to This ]
      clever indeed... lol, i love the idea if socks and lovers being compared... such an original take, I always enjoyed looking things through your perspective, lol
    Vicious
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very clever Amy. the idea of two soulmates
    being entwined like a pair of socks... great!
    then to be tumbled about in the dryer of the
    world.. separated.. i think about all the lost socks
    that find their way to the sock poker game that
    goes on constantly behind the dryer.. there they
    end up, separated from their mate... lol!

    great work! it's nice to see you spunky and
    writing again!

    much love,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      great sense of humour and a fine analogy. i particularly like '' slaughtered like Achilles
    with holes in our heels?''
    think the rhythm might be improved with the addition of a syllable in ''trying to swim jointly'' how about ''trying to swim together''
    and possibly this one''me at the bottom of a smelly hamper'' could be shorter...how about''me in a smelly hamper''

    but whatever you do ( or don''t do) to this...it is a good poem wrtten from a unique perspective..and an enjoyable read
    | Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
      Haha! This is a really cute poem and I can understand how you would have fun writing this one. I never did understand the missing sock phenomenon! That is what I thought of while reading this haha! I always seem to end up with unmatched socks and I cant figure it out! Now, your poem has enlightened me and maybe the seperated pair had an argument and refused to be near each other haha!A very clever poem this is and it has given me a smile this morning. I enjoyed the reference to the washing machine as life's roughest seas. That is really good. And this is a most thought provoking poem and I never would have imagined I would say that about socks but actually more so about the metaphor. I like this poem. Very nice and humorous too! Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Very well done

    You were able to capture the feelings a human has when in a relationship and bring them out brilliantly I might add in the form of a sock

    A very clever and well thought out write
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      MMmmm this is so much like the dilemma in the dryer of the lost sock. A soul I once knew, abandoned only to be found later after a new tumble.

    This is sweet Amy, I can see how you had fun. And it's a delight to read too, a slice of ordinary life purloined into a creative adventure in mating. There isn't a line I would touch, it's all great.

    I'm just happy to see you writing and having fun.

    love and hugs,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Hehe... I have to chuckle at this image of love as the relationship of socks.

    Well done!

    would the world toss us about
    as if it were a violent tumble dryer
    separating us

    The metaphor seems light at first glance, but in fact their is much depth and truth in these lines.

    Good job!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this. I love how you always think outside of the box to compare things. :) It's as if you think outside of the box but not really because the ideas and things you compare are similar and make sense already. :) You just have a way of wording things. I really like how you say that they are "pining for each other until our epic journey found us reunited". Aren't you happy when you finally find the missing sock? :) I know I am. I really really really liked this. It made me happy. hehe Definitely a favorite. Take care hun. Great job! Love you sis!

    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      hehehe I bet this was fun to write.
    It funny that everytime I was my socks one comes up missing...the washing machine must be a bit hungry I guess.

    And I agree the hell would be the one to kill it...after all thats how all mine die.

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      you have alot of talent... your poem completely just blew me away... it was very good... a strange take on things... but it makes alot of sense... enjoy
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Esophagus1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Neatly done, a nice piece of irony using the sock in a personification. I wrote"the lonely sock" early this year in the same meaning, although totally different to yours.

    Suggestions? I'd replace the first "together" with "around each other" to stop the repetition of "together"
    Same with the tow "bottoms" just word it differently for one of them.

    That's all I can suggest, the rest is fine, and I especially love your ending, very cleverly done with the Achilles line, that;s great!

    Well done

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice metaphor for separation anxiety in a relationship; the endless mismatch and loss of the mates to socks/gloves/etc. I would only suggest expanding this if the original charm is maintained in the tone, otherwise it says in a unique way exactly what it should. In any case, this is a style you should explore further in another work. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good...intresting connection...nice thought. Imagry was very original, flowed well the structure was fine there's really not much to criticize. I might have added a little more if it were my work but it's not unfinished. This kept attention of the reader the whole way through and the wording was good. very humerous...I'm not sure if it was meant to be and sorry if it wasn't but I honestly couldn't stop laughing. good write. keep writing.
    Peace
    ~Silent_death12
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Intresting metaphor certainly. I quite like the lines

    through life's roughest seas
    (or the washing machine)?

    They remind me of the way at least one item of clothing always seems to get stuck. There is one pet peeve i have with this poem though and that's that it could be extended so much further
    for example

    Though the one red shirt
    dyes us all pink
    and tries to make us
    stand in line
    i will be yours always
    so persistant through the dye

    Just a thought .
    Other then that nice flow and original take on a common topic :D
    xxAngelxx
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by The_Angelic_Dea | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmm. I've never heard love compared to socks before, but this was definately interesting. It's good that you have such fun writing pieces! I liked it.
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ]


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