Description: This is still pretty rough, so suggestions are welcome. I admit I had fun writing this. Hey, it would be hard to kill a sock, but I thought the heel would probably do it.
A Sock Epic -------------------------------------------
If I could find my soul mate
would we twine ourselves together
like a pair of argyle socks
trying to swim jointly
through life's roughest seas
(or the washing machine)?
Would the world toss us about
as if it were a violent tumble dryer
you at the bottom of a drawer,
me at the bottom of a smelly hamper
pining for each other
until our epic journey
found us reunited, discarded,
or slaughtered like Achilles
with holes in our heels?
I saw this as on Swanne's fav list and had to read this one myself. I loved the metaphors and imagery of this one. I didn't see anything wrong right off if at all. I usaully get holes in my toes of my socks...maybe I'm wearing them wrong. lol. This showed with simple everyday wear and tear of a sock how similar love can be under emotional were and tear of life. Great job. I loved this Amy.
it was the title that caught my eye...(after all your adorable cats..that is) for the most part, I enjoyed this...it had a very original feel...the ending was clever...the heels are always the first to go on socks... although related to the poem...I didn't quite like the way this seemed to fit in... "through life's roughest seas (or the washing machine)?".... to me it should be either or...because the metaphor is already there... Swanne
oooooh my gosh, this is such a fresh take on love and so carefree and "cute". I love it! It was a very sweet piece and the flow was great! I love how you used Achilles because I thought of two things, Achilles in the whole Trojan War ordeal and then the Achilles tendon, which is on the foot (... right? I don't want to sound stupid, but anatomy is so not my thing). It was great how you used Achilles and my brain kind of went in two directions... I'm adding this to my faves! ;)
LOL. I loved this piece-I thought it was hillarious yet serious. I honestly don't think anybody else has compared soulmates to matching socks, which is unfortunate because, as you've shown, there could be many similarities. Great job with the imagery and everything else. Keep up the great work. J
this is a good poem and the Achilles heel threw me a little untill i read the next line "with holes in our heels?'' then i understood how you took something sorta more serious and mixed it in this poem that made me understand i like how you took somthing so funny (as a missing sock) and gave it a double meaning
this is very clever Amy. the idea of two soulmates being entwined like a pair of socks... great! then to be tumbled about in the dryer of the world.. separated.. i think about all the lost socks that find their way to the sock poker game that goes on constantly behind the dryer.. there they end up, separated from their mate... lol!
great work! it's nice to see you spunky and writing again!
great sense of humour and a fine analogy. i particularly like '' slaughtered like Achilles with holes in our heels?'' think the rhythm might be improved with the addition of a syllable in ''trying to swim jointly'' how about ''trying to swim together'' and possibly this one''me at the bottom of a smelly hamper'' could be shorter...how about''me in a smelly hamper''
but whatever you do ( or don''t do) to this...it is a good poem wrtten from a unique perspective..and an enjoyable read
Haha! This is a really cute poem and I can understand how you would have fun writing this one. I never did understand the missing sock phenomenon! That is what I thought of while reading this haha! I always seem to end up with unmatched socks and I cant figure it out! Now, your poem has enlightened me and maybe the seperated pair had an argument and refused to be near each other haha!A very clever poem this is and it has given me a smile this morning. I enjoyed the reference to the washing machine as life's roughest seas. That is really good. And this is a most thought provoking poem and I never would have imagined I would say that about socks but actually more so about the metaphor. I like this poem. Very nice and humorous too! Take care.
I really enjoyed this. I love how you always think outside of the box to compare things. :) It's as if you think outside of the box but not really because the ideas and things you compare are similar and make sense already. :) You just have a way of wording things. I really like how you say that they are "pining for each other until our epic journey found us reunited". Aren't you happy when you finally find the missing sock? :) I know I am. I really really really liked this. It made me happy. hehe Definitely a favorite. Take care hun. Great job! Love you sis!
Nice metaphor for separation anxiety in a relationship; the endless mismatch and loss of the mates to socks/gloves/etc. I would only suggest expanding this if the original charm is maintained in the tone, otherwise it says in a unique way exactly what it should. In any case, this is a style you should explore further in another work. Nice write.
This was good...intresting connection...nice thought. Imagry was very original, flowed well the structure was fine there's really not much to criticize. I might have added a little more if it were my work but it's not unfinished. This kept attention of the reader the whole way through and the wording was good. very humerous...I'm not sure if it was meant to be and sorry if it wasn't but I honestly couldn't stop laughing. good write. keep writing. Peace ~Silent_death12