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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Open Spacedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: graeme
    ASL Info:    33/M/Maple Ridge B.C. Can
    Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 26/43/19
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1250
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 359



    Description:
       I submitted this to my school paper in my last year. They messed up the spacing. Can you read it as I am hoping you can? What do you think? Does it remind you of anything?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOpen Spacedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hey
    He Shouts Out Loud
    To No One
    Knows His Face
    Shows No Emotion
    Is Good Enough
    Isn't Good Enough
    Isn't Good Enough
    Isn't Good Enough
    With The Repitition
    Repitition
    Repitition
    Hey
    You See Me
    Seeing You
    Makes Me
    Miss You
    Too




    Submitted on 2005-11-06 13:28:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I was hoping it would be read like this,
    Hey
    Hey he shouts
    shouts out loud
    out loud to no one
    no one knows his face
    his face shows no emotion
    no emotion is good enough
    good enough isn't good enough
    good enough isn't good enough
    good enough isn't good enough
    enough with the repitition repitition repetition
    hey
    you see me
    see me seeing you
    seeing you makes me
    makes me miss you
    miss you too
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by graeme | [ Reply to This ]
      The isn't good enough being repeated reminds me of how i feel about life. That sometimes i'm not good enough for it. The you seeing me seeing you makes me miss you too part reminds me of my ex and how we pass each other in the hallways. I think this was good it makes you think. I'm not saying it was one of the best poems in the world but it was good, and it's something that needs to be read. It makes you think.

    ~~Danni~~
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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