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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Girl in the back of the classdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: painofthanatos
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684/571/86
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1142
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 486



    Description:
       


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    dotsGirl in the back of the classdots
    -------------------------------------------



    I look to the girl in the back of the class
    Shes tall and shes awkward
    She spends her lunch buried so deeply in books
    That she can forget shes sitting alone
    Shes not someone I want to know
    But she smiles when I say hello
    And I get the feeling Ill get stuck
    With another social outcast
    Hidden deep in oversized black shirts
    Announcing make-believe apathy to anyone
    Who will take the time to look and read




    Submitted on 2005-11-06 14:11:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hm, I am not quite sure what to say now, when I saw the title I thought it might remind me of me when I wasn't so popular. I am still not so popular but I have friends. Althhough I do like to sit alone by myself sometimes especially when I do not know anyone. Enough about me, this poem ws a wonderful poem, but I think it kinda needs more, like what she does and what she thinks... but that is just my opinion and suggestion.


    Jessica
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by jslbabygirl101 | [ Reply to This ]
      Reminds me of myself somewhat...although again I choose the front rather than the back - it's safer. I like the way you've used the classroom hierarchy from popular to outcast in a very simple poem...in one way it could be called stereotypical and harsh...but in another it may be forcing people to look at these rather unfair politics. That the people who stick out and don't want to be part of the 'popular crowd' get picked on...solely because they can't see the point in being a sheep and following the crowd.

    Good write
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that really really reminds me of a girl at school I know. Shes so quiet but you can tell shes searching for a friends someone. But shes not really into books i dont think. Anyway, I think a lot of people can relate. It just describes everyday life of some people. Good job
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-02-02 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      I hope Im not repeating other peoples word; Im just too lazy to read all the comments. Great write, really neat. It is about stereotypes, but I wonder which exactly? Yes, there is always a girl in the back of the class, the social outcast (I guess I was one). And she is torn apart between need for attention and desire to be true to herself. But I think this poem might be about something else. There is a stereotype that is often overlooked. I mean of the girl, which is just pretending, acting like an outcast to draw some attention. Sometimes, there is really nothing behind that pose of apathy and depression.
    Just my point of view...
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      cool poem. steriotypical though but perhaps that's what you were going for. tells the tale of the girl but only your view of her a sad view i might add but none the less a decent to pretty good poem. i'd like it more probably if it were a little longer...more in depth i guess.
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by beth freese | [ Reply to This ]
      You have a really really awesome writing style, I have a poem like this also, but I haven't posted it yet, damn, I'm not even done with it, I got like one little part, and that's it... so yeah, but ANYWAY I know what you mean, I definately relate to this, I mean I can't believe that I didn't write this, if I had to write about this topic, this would be my exact words, this is perfect in my opinion, a definate favorite,

    Keep em comin

    Codee
    | Posted on 2005-12-27 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      random rhyme really works for you...you didnt force anything its just flows...

    keeps you wondering

    style is good

    very nice...
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by time2leave | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i really liked this. it sounded so real--not forced at all. i especially liked the random rhyme [you know ive always been a sucker for that :) ]. only one question..

    [[Who will take the time to look and read]]
    why "and read"? are we reading the apathy?

    anyway, nice one :)
    sophie
    | Posted on 2005-11-21 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
      this is nice. I see how how are simontaneously identifying and distancing yourself with an "outcast". You see so much of your self in her that you find it both appealing and revolting.

    popularity is so important in school, the politcs are ingrained in this peice. very deeply, but very simply.

    good write.

    oh, and I like the end to, it almost seems like you are reffering to us readers and yourslef as the writer of the poem.

    you read inot this gril

    and we read into you.

    hey hey


    Who will take the time to look and read??????
    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by purple_lips | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write

    To me it speaks of people who are rather shallow and dont think for themselves and let others think for them
    Its actually quite sad

    Great Write
    Keep writing as it helps heal

    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem, I am the girl in the back of the class, well more like I sat in the front, but no one talked to me ever and everyone made fun of me, but I just want to say to those people who do tease the social outcast, just because we don't dress like you, wear the coolest clothes or wear make up karma will come back to you and it did.

    Sorry for the rant but great poem, just keep a thought for this girl, and offer your hand of friendship it may mean the world to her. As the great quote goes: To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

    BabyTink
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]
      don't be so quick to judge. i'm partly the girl in the back of class and i resent the fact that you would feel "stuck" with someone who would be considered different. maybe you should try and talk to someone before you jump to the conclusion that you don't like them. just because someone reads alot and is always alone doesn't mean that they are a freak, or a bad person, or someone you wouldn't like. i would hate to know that i'm nice to someone who thinks less of me but fails to let me know because they are a coward. i don't judge you for your thoughts on the subject but i just tell you this so that you will have seen from the point of view of the girl in the back of class.

    sincerely,
    Misty
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem. It shows you care, at least enough to notice the outcast. And too, it's well written. Showing the character of the girl, as you see her. Your description and length is nice.. and the thoughts expressed in each line.
    Well done,
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      that sounds alot like my school... only one girl... but she never reads... it is rather sad that i am the only one that ever talks to her... but then again... she is the only person who ever talks back to me when i speak to them... so i guess it is somewhat a mutual relation... i liked your poem...enjoy
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Esophagus1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool poem. There is a girl like that in my class so I can kind of relate. I hate sitting with her because she is so desperate for company that it would hurt her feelings if I was to ignore her, but I really do want to ignore. Shes a wierdo, always talking about pop music as if it's a culture shes missing out on or not worthy to be apart of, but she is obsessed with it and she smells funny (sorry for ranting there). Very well written. Keep this good sh-it comin'!

    - Sethesin
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the style you used here, the tempo of your words is perfect for the story you're telling, although a line break wouldn't have hurt it, either, but that's neither here nor there.
    Really interesting little tale, that keeps the reader wondering what's going to happen. It's reminiscent of an excerpt of a bigger story.

    Very nice indeed, well done

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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