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Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 88
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 853
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 548


don't ask me why but this poem is called facts lol. tell me what you think.


side effects make you plummit
your additude makes me sick to my stomach
talking about shit that makes no sense
making you seem all to dense
you get up in the moring saying we are free
then it all gets recorded on t.v.
we aren't because we can't say what we want
we can't even go outside to smoke a blunt
instead we get but in jail
get busted while we're getting nailed
fake evidence that was caught on tape
before you talk Bush get your facts straight

Submitted on 2005-11-06 14:22:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I like the topic. I don't like the direction you took it in. Not your best. The rhyme scheme didn't fit. It would be a better free-verse poem instead of conforming to a rhyme scheme. Try again. Good topic.

Dark Ainjul
| Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by Ashleigh Mari | [ Reply to This ]
  this one was ok babe. it seemed more like a rhyming rant against like...pretty much the world in general. i just think u coulda put a lil more thought into it. i think u mean "put in jail".
| Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  somebody sounds angry.. honestly i don't mean to be mean at all.. but i don't think this involved very much talent. some parts were really good but the rest of it was just words.. don't get me wrong.. words are the most important part of poetry but if you pay attention to the ones you use you might see a difference.. i think from what i see you can do much better.. can't wait to see that
| Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by soul full | [ Reply to This ]

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