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    dots Submission Name: Ballad of two: part 2dots

    Author: Akili
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 915/400/60
    Words: 702
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 1412
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4389

       Well, yet another part of my ballad that's fast becoming a epic. Please tell me what you truely think and if you want anything to come in here/I should take out/what could make it better.

    *bows* Arigato!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBallad of two: part 2dots

    Ballad of Two
    The Ballad of Alec Freeman and Kaie Teague
    Part Two

    The sun is warm
    the water wet.
    Hunters go out with knives
    and fishermen use nets.

    A man’s tools tell his tale and trade
    be it plow or shield.
    And in this you can be sure
    that some men will never yield.

    At dawn the captured women
    walked along the road weeping.
    On each side the dark king’s knights laughed
    and wondered if any woman was worth keeping.

    The oldest heard a sound
    and turned his head to check.
    But the other evil doers only stopped
    when a arrow ran though his neck.

    They all stopped and looked
    a mistake that cost them many lives.
    For out of the trees ran a man
    covered in grey and many knives.

    He rushed the knights
    his eyes flashing in sun.
    Teeth bared as he cut them down
    as they stood stunned.

    They then ran at him
    and the women screamed in fear.
    Horrified that he was just about
    to be run though.

    Then another arrow flew
    and hit a knight in the chest.
    And it was clear to all
    that this fight was not over yet.

    The ground was soon covered with blood
    and the bodies of the evil men.
    The women stood stunned
    as the bodies got dragged to a nearby glen.

    Then the arrow smith stepped forth
    and with a look in his eyes addressed the women
    “Go to the king and tell him what we did.
    And we shall see what he does then.”

    “He stole my life and that of my family
    has taken everything from each of us.
    But now we have agreed
    to play this game of chess.

    Go and tell the man who calls himself king
    that we will never bow down.
    We will overthrow him
    for he’s not fit to wear the crown.”

    The bloody men then walked off
    leaving the women to tell
    the evil king what had happened
    and how his men had fell.

    He yelled in anger
    as they cowered in fear.
    Then with of his hand
    drew his dark men near.

    They bowed before him
    as he smiled cruelly.
    “You have heard what these women say
    and I believe that they speak truly.

    Rise my men and go out
    an award in gold for those men’s lives.”
    The knights smiled then bowed again
    and rode out the castle in no more then fives.

    The crowd standing around sighed
    and each shook his head in distress.
    “Those foolish men will die soon.
    For until they do the knights will not rest.”

    The evil knights rode though the country
    raping and killing at will.
    The sound of people screaming
    or whole villages made still.

    The word of these things
    came to the ears of our heros soon.
    They turned white at the thought
    of what had been happening under the sun and moon.

    Yet our heros didn’t despair
    for as proud Alec said to the brave Kaie
    If they didn’t stop this evil
    it would go back to what it had been in May.

    They drew together
    and made a faint plan.
    For even though they might be defeated
    they could go down like a man.

    A group of knights where staying at an inn
    sitting at a table drinking and glaring.
    Yelling if they felt the service to slow
    not knowing that the end for them was nearing.

    Suddenly the door was thrown aside
    and two men strode within.
    They stood in the door with frowns
    and it was clear to all what was to begin.

    “I shall gain the gold for this quest!”
    laughed a foolish knight as he reached for his sword.
    He leaped at the two men
    and they flew at him on one accord.

    Kaie’s arrow took his neck
    Alec’s knife his heart.
    The other knights drew
    and towards our heros they did start.

    Alec laughed his chilling laugh
    then licked his blade clean.
    The people drew together
    as they watched the bloody scene.

    End part 2

    Submitted on 2005-11-06 16:03:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oooo, bravo, I love ballads, especially your's and Megan's. I like Alec, the chilling laugh and blade lick, priceless. Reminds me of something I...wouldn't do...because I would end up stabbing myself before the fight even started.

    Though I would fight even afterwards...I would inevitably fail...BUT I WOULD TRY!

    Awesome second half to an awesome ballad...WRITE MORE, lol.

    | Posted on 2006-01-26 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      Sheeeit dude, I started reading it and remembered I had homework. I just wanted to let you know, that I DID notice it was posted and I DID start reading it. I will finish reading and posta real comment, I don't know when, since i have to work tomorrow, but hopefully it will be soon.

    Love ya
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW. that's all i can say. I mean you keep the rhyming good all through the ballad and the imagery was just..i can see it in my head just playing over and over again. The flow was great two i loved how you worded it and everything. I can't really say anything bad about it to me it was nearly perfect. I guess some of the words were a little common but other than that it was great. keep up the good work.

    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]

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