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    dots Submission Name: Parallels and Poetrydots

    Author: Emma_closes
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 88/111/44
    Words: 262
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1802

       I feel so futile sometimes (most of the time). The whole system seems a waste.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsParallels and Poetrydots

    I've sketched parallels
    all in a pretty row,
    lined-up and factual, how nice.
    All the same variations of an obscure past mistake.
    of every moment I take,
    I store them up inside of me.
    They eat away my mindset.
    I love them like they'd set me free.
    I love them like some other me,
    parelleled but different.

    Because every day is like the rest
    the same sunshine, it's angel-blessed.
    From heaven sent to watch over us,
    mocking the indisposed.
    I want to inform the system,
    with this information undisclosed,
    that the whole damn thing is worthless.
    And you thought your system flawless.
    It's nothing but a stain,
    placed like some afterthought of a child
    on the hem of God's bathrobe.
    A holy infant, so tender and mild.
    It's every time you force that smile.

    Somehow you still get up each day
    because you need something to fill in
    that time before they sun gives way.
    It's a pitied colouring book,
    with the lines all drawn crooked.
    You sketch in it with reds and blues
    as if you could remove
    the disdainful sight of the blank white
    garishly stark paper.
    It dares your hope to taper out.

    Everything I've done has been a waste
    that feeds into the machine.
    It's time that I get weened.
    I can't stand this broken record.
    But I need something to sketch my days with,
    lest they should become known
    to the system as wasted.
    So instead I'll embed
    a thousand freedoms I've tasted
    into one more silly line,
    that will lose itself in time.

    Submitted on 2005-11-06 17:05:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think that this is very insightful, you are very wise for your age, the last stanza is amazing. and the first stanza, explaining that it is a part of you, another you. great words. I really liked it all, the second verse seemed kinda harsh to me "like some afterthought of a child" we like to think of them as our first thought, being a parent and all, but I guess it is an afterthought when it comes to unplanned pregnancy. this is a little confusing for me in the middle. but i liked how you set it all up and used your feelings to write it.~~tracy
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by tmullins | [ Reply to This ]

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