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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Baby (resubmit)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: punn
    Elite Ratio:    3.79 - 26/36/12
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 186
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 992



    Description:
       
    i submitted this on 11-5 but it disapeared.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBaby (resubmit)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Baby
    -------------------------------------------

    I could barely say it. You’re pregnant?
    My face clinched up, prelude to a cry.
    My lips flat, forced against each other.
    I could do nothing but hold out my arms,
    Open for her to join me in my chair.

    We said nothing for half an hour,
    Her head on my shoulder, my hand in her hair.
    Our shirts wet from all our crying.
    She leaned up, wiping the mascara
    From under her eyes, are you happy?

    Happy? I caught a breath, yes, very.
    I wouldn’t want it if not for you.
    This is truly a product of love,
    Given to me like a gift from you.

    She leaned back over, I held her tight.
    I bit her lip, I blew in her ear.
    I noticed the shaking, I heard the voices,
    What the hell! Wake up, wake up.
    What do you want for breakfast? The man asked.









    Submitted on 2005-11-06 20:44:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Dream sequence or nightmare? I do believe this was under Satire so I am unsure. I'm not being odd. Okay maybe a little odd. I can't say as I really understand this poem 100%, but I think it was a great write.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by thetwilight | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice job

    I did not expect the ending at all but i agree with stormyskies I would have asked you the same question are you trying to get pregnant



    Once Again Great Job!

    Please if you have a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I take it this is a dream? Are you and your partner trying to get pregnant atm? Myself and my partner are and i have had dreams that she was also...i guess i have to comment that ifound this more like a narrative...but one that is short and sweet and says much in few words...good write..it definitely kept me interested.. :)
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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