[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Hazedots

    Author: hollowshell
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 39/40/14
    Words: 246
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1329
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1479

       Tonight, i was thinking about a time in my life not so long ago, wondering if i have finally made it past it. I couldnt answer the question. (Note: I guess I should mention this poem is about my drug habbit- the meaning of the poem is being missed)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Hazedots

    Stumbling around in this haze,
    I beg for a way to be free.
    Whilst all the time silently wishing,
    that this haze wont make me meet me.
    Clouded is my vision,
    clouded with false hope.
    The haze is cruel and taunting,
    but I need this haze to cope.
    A curtain apears every day now,
    the world is so different to me.
    I cry out as the circle continues,
    I laugh as the haze has my key.
    Irony burns redhot through my chest,
    as I try to forget what makes me.
    I turn for the clouded redemption,
    to temporarily be set free.
    Inhale my troubles, breathe out my woes,
    say goodbye to yourself for the night.
    The haze helps me forget you,
    It offers me an option except fight.
    No-one can offer me help,
    as my secret war rages over the top.
    The people I love thawrt my path,
    and the beauty is I can't say stop.
    You made me lost, you made me die,
    you put me in this haze to dwell.
    I begged and screamed for mercy,
    as you burned the exit from hell.
    At times I seem to have found my footing,
    at times my way out is there.
    I think of you and the pain you've caused,
    as the night ends the haze brings despair.

    So mock me, descredit me, criticise me,
    but not too much I bleed.
    As your memory goes over and over,
    I weap at the unforgotten heed.

    Submitted on 2005-11-06 21:13:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      thoughts...I feel what your saying, a little foggy at some points but then again it is called "The Haze", I too have been in the midst of some thick smog and yes narcotics are bad when you step back and think about it, at the time though so proper, so nice, so... anyway, yes indeed I feel ya bro and I think your words is good, with just a little tune up twice as nice.

    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm.. interesting. I think it's quite good as I can relate to the "Haze"...like.. you're stuck in a moment dwelling over something. Well.. considering that you're asking for thoughts.. I personally thought that the poem was nicely written and I like the concept of it. Okay well.. keep on writing! have a nice day
    | Posted on 2005-11-06 00:00:00 | by Krypton3 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]