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    dots Submission Name: Little Shop of Lovedots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 876

    She is shopping for love again.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLittle Shop of Lovedots

    A bell tinkles as she enters
    a boutique of love.
    Sandalwood and jasmine scents
    enchant and enhance
    the mystery of this merchant's wares.

    She is greeted by a pleasant smile
    from behind a counter,
    but without an offer of assistance.
    Racks hung with colors
    are full and displayed
    in simple coordinated arrays.
    She briefly looks but
    then leaves in disappointment.
    There appeared to be little there
    that fit her size or fashion requirements.

    It just demonstrates
    that there is much
    she cannot know from
    a quick shopping trip.
    There is a storehouse full of passion
    but limited room to show it.
    The warehouse has endless rows,
    but she will not see it
    until she befriends the owner.

    Submitted on 2005-11-06 22:45:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There is not doubt the message is here, but I'm impressed with the description of the shop and wares for sale. I think all of it fits quite well and shows that you think on a piece for some time before it emerges..

    She is greeted by a pleasant smile
    from behind a counter,
    but without an offer of assistance.

    this tells me that when we look too hard for something, we do not find it, how subliminal the soul is when reading messages from another!

    NIce job Chrys, thanks for the write.

    | Posted on 2005-11-15 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Neatly done, and a really good moral to boot. The first two lines really grab the reader, which is excellent.

    High praise from me, I thought it was great!

    be happy

    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write
    To me
    It talks about how people judge people from there first visit with them
    I always thought this was so wrong
    In order to understand a person you have to get to know them first before making an opinion of someone
    This write made me think
    Good Job

    And thanks for your comments
    Tommorow at the redondo reading there will be a film crew for an independent production
    It should be fun
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i hate to be repetitive but yeah, its an amazing metaphor, crazy analogy, makes me think that we all shop for love, and as we do for products, we also look for certain qualities on a person for us to "buy" them. And i see how hard it is to "shop" when ur only taking a quick look at the "product"... "It just demonstrates
    that there is much
    she cannot know from
    a quick shopping trip. "
    This is my favourite part tohugh: "She is greeted by a pleasant smile
    from behind a counter,
    but without an offer of assistance." and aren't we all alone, without assistence when we go shopping for love?
    Very nice
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by ctsilva | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very good. I really enjoyed reading this one. I think the metaphor is great and most entertaining. A lighthearted and really truthful poem all with its own "style". HA! I love how you have compared finding a love to a store, and how you have said nothing fits your size or fashion requirements. I think that is really clever. And the ending is perfect! A wonderful poem. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the metaphor that you have used here...very creative...very well written and very apt indeed...i also love the descriptive words that use and the thoughts and images that this piece brings about...i enjoyed the way it encouraged me to think a little too...well done! stormy
    | Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]

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