alright, alright, true, true. this is the shyznyt. I loved that opening, and couldn't agree with you anymore in what you said. Personally i found this very comical and easily conveyed, which is odd for me considering the only schizo i knew tried to kill my sons mom, fortunately he was dumb enough to do it in front of me. or maybe it's because of how you fromed it and set the reader up for it that happened? hmmmm, lets give you the benefit of the doubt and say the later, yeah, ok, bye now
I have to admit to a simple minded suffering when it came to that one, but I LOVE The description to death. If you take that description as an opening to a poem, hon, you have got somethin! Not that the prose wasn't good, like I said, us simple folks didn't know what the heck you were talkin bout .