A Gaming Chance by I_Bleed

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Submission Name: A Gaming Chance dots

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Author:	I_Bleed_Ink
Elite Ratio:	5.55 - 182/176/52
Words:	68

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	252
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	476

Description:
Some say life is a game, it's a chance we all take...how well do you play?

A Gaming Chance dots

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Open highway--
Straight shot in the dark,
Sitting on third,
Ninety feet from home.

Card-castles in clouds
When the chips are down.
Eight lives lost,
And one more to go.

Birth, Life, then Death--
The tri-fecta from Hell,
Blinded by the neon
As the free drinks flow.

21 and a Natural
As you double down
But in the end
Must pony up the dough.

Submitted on 2005-11-07 12:13:26 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Lovely poem!

I'm loving the metaphors for life is a game.
I recognized the blackjack references.
Not racing though.(I read the other comments.Well,a few anyways.)
I got baseball and/or even racing (cars >,<) out of the first stanza though. -->

"Open highway--
Straight shot in the dark,
Sitting on third,
Ninety feet from home."

Idk why though.I guess it is more of jockeying though in the first place.

Onward...
Favourite lines has to be this : --->

"Birth, Life, then Death--
The tri-fecta from Hell,
Blinded by the neon
As the free drinks flow."

Maybe it's the word "trifecta"... >,<
Beautiful imagery though.
Same goes for the poem as a whole.

"But in the end,must pony up the dough"

(How cool is that?! lol)

<222

| Posted on 2008-10-15 00:00:00 | by LRRolins | [ Reply to This ]
  I like your references to blackjack and horse-racing. I'm thinking there's more references in here but I'm not much of a gambler myself so most of it is lost on me. You do, however, still get your point across that life is indeed a game.

I think this is a concise piece and I like how you've got rhymes in every fourth line of your stanzas.

I wish I could say more but that's all I've got for ya.
Peace,

Jase
| Posted on 2006-04-24 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
  well this must have been a hoot here. a lot of these gambling terms I have nevr heard and I use to live in Vegas. well if one could call it living long story don’t want to bore you with the details. anyhow that blinded by the neon part with the drinks flowing does remind me of the fancy casinos especially on the more southern end of Vegas, the strip area. thanks to the local legend there Steve Wynn responsible for the Mirage casino and the famous Belagio. and a few other hotels I might add. I could go into more detail on Vegas but ill save that for a write specifically made for that. I do like how you have this I am trying to get some meaning out of this write but I fear a lot could be personal. for example I do wonder what eight lives those are that are described in stanza 2 line 3. there is one part that really hits. the “birth, life, and death. the tri-fecta from hell. like a triple curse in a way, the pessimistic look at life which often at times I do agree. you are born into this mess, you live in it, and then you get to die, how nice. I do also like the ending here “but in the end, must pony up the dough” I would add a “you” before “must” but its entirely your choice. yes in the end all bets are off cause the odds favor the house and just when you think you are ahead, the ultimate reality hits and it’s dirt nap time. whew real depressing. nice effect though,

~mike
| Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Card-castles in clouds
When the chips are down-
Eight lives lost,
And one more to go.

Well I'd have to say those lines were good, my fav part of your write. I'll have to check out more of your work when I get time. This write was deep and point taken, a sureal in a sense.
Keep up the lines like these.

jermwerm
| Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey.

I like the alliteration in 'card castles in the sky'. Tis a nice image too. I think that you should lose the '-' after some of the words, it stops the reader from moving through the words as you intended. Too manu unesseccery pauses.

Also, i like the chatty feel to the poem, very natural. I'm not sure that i like the word 'hell' in this piece. It doesn't quite fit in.

Emerson
| Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by Paradelle | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very good and well written piece you have here. I enjoyed reading this one. I have some gambling experience and found this poem to be very on the mark! I always found it amusing when I went to the casino, my friends were always so thrilled with the free drinks and would get themselves so intoxicated, they couldnt help but lose. I, on the other hand, drank soda while I was at the tables and usually did fairly well if not better. My friends always said I was crazy not to indulge but I was usually the only one who left with the casino's money in my pocket. Very good write this is! Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  i like this, but you have to have spent some time in a casino to get it! my husband and i were married in vegas at the little white wedding chapel, spent alot of money there that month! though i do have to admit i dont get the part about eight lives down one more to go, my husband a black jack fanatic and i a video poker and horses person, cant seem to place what you mean with that verse. maybe you spend too much time there. i could use some dough, want to drive this way for a poker game?!?!~~tracy
| Posted on 2005-11-07 00:00:00 | by tmullins | [ Reply to This ]

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