Nicely written takes me back a couple of years. Parenthood drives the wild nights out of you after a while and they become less and less and also it hurts to much. My critiques: forth stanza could read better I think 'Bloody nights like these I just love to sway. My hair flaying this way and that' and as said below flaying could be changed but to what I don't know.
and stanzas two and six could be shortened to three lines to keep the rythm, but these are minor things.
First off, the title sucked me right in. I sometimes measure the talent of a writer to put movement, whether dance, a stroll or an absence of movement, into writing. You've done a wonderful job of this, so bravo for that;)
A groovy tone and pace runs solidly through this piece, and I was captivated by looking to where it was going.
Great use of repetition with "I go and go." I was going to critique it's initial use till I finished and saw the wrap in your close. Great job!
The only real 'eh' moment I had with your descriptions was using 'flaying' as a movement indicator for your hair in the 4th stanza. I think there are stronger words that will fit the metaphor in a better sense.
"The sweet tangy taste of death coated to the words."
wow I loved this one. your imagry was truely admired. My favorite part of it was the last two stanzas...so much imagry...sick desires This was very very well written. I loved the end it just put everything together "with sweet temptation" 3 words said all they needed to for this one and you went so deep. very cool inspiration to...Rob vombie overall great write. I might suggest trying some kind of ryhming scheme just because a few parts didn't flow as well as the could have but I think your choice of words and not too long lines took away from that enough for it not to be all that important. this was all in all a wicked read thanks for posting it. hope to read more from you soon. keep writing. take caer, Peace