Hmmm. This left the reader definitely wondering. There are several different takes on it from the other comments that I did read. And, each of them could be taken as the real one. But, only you truely know. Hmm. Sadly enough, I could relate to it also. Missing someone that much....hurts like a mother. *Shakes head*
You wrote this beautifully and provocitive in a tasteful manner. That's I think another thing I enjoyed about it.
PS: Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!
Although it's obvious what you're talking about, you handled this quite tactfully in my book and I wouldn't describe it as explicit, well done. I like the build in the first three stanzas then the crash with the fourth. Only one line bothered me "Your fingers find that special place" feels a little cliché, I seem to find it alot. So I would have to think about that. Overall I enjoyed the read so thanks
Beautiful, ... absolutly beautiful. Very passionate and somewhat explicit but still very well written. It had great flow and didn't subside at all, which is great. Alot of poetry that I've read doesn't have good flow and its such a letdown sometimes. Keep writing and I hope to hear more from you. :D
This is good. I enjoyed the climaxing part of it all. because after all climaxing is always the best part! well getting there is pretty good too! but any way good write it is definately under the write category "passion"
Ok i have to admit that I can totally relate to this piece...it is so painful to miss someone that much...and even more painful at times when you venture into this kind of experience...it hurts like hell..i have felt this and been there...and then re-united with the one i loved...and i did cry...it was as i imagined and although it was beautiful..it too hurt in ways...my heart overjoyed but overwhelmed by the pain i had felt...this inspires me to write about that part of it...how much it hurt yet felt of the utmost pleasure ...fantastically written...and i love the contrast of emotions...this is definitely a fav!...stormy
You know I am just silly...I don't even know why I clicked on this at all cause I KNEW what it was about, and you know what...I am bored and I think that you are mean and you don't understand me at all...you made me feel really bad with your comment and I was feeling like a man and everything...I told you that about Tony cause they are all about him...not that I didn't like your poems...but bah I guess that I really shouldn't be offended...and this poem would be better if you weren't my sister cause it is just kinda weird to read it...yup yup.
You seem to have blurred the line between lovemaking and suffering, togetherness and solitude, sorrow and joy. It almost appears your lover is a figment of your imagination at times, and the climax is more of relief than joy, as if you fed an addiction you wanted to remain a secret. Nicely done.
This was very sensual. you put a lot of emotion into this. I liked the way that you still kept it clean. This gives the reader the ability to let their imagination go to work with their own explicit detail. The only thing I saw was where you put:
Finally causes me to break.
I think that:
Finally CAUSING me to break.
would sound a little bit better.
Other then that. Great work. You definitely can have some one sitting hot in their chair!