Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Executed Soldiers Taledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890/865/108
    Words: 501
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1029
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3285



    Description:
       Its been so long since I posted this is what I got.... We are reading some tales in English class called the Canterbury Tales and if you don't know what that is its a big tale with a bunch of little tales within it, and its based back in the time when the bubonic plague invaded europe, we had to write our own tales, and this is mine.
    Tell me what you think!!!!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Executed Soldiers Taledots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Executed Soldier’s Tale
    Prologue
    “My fellow soldiers”, she governed in her truthful tone,
    “I’m watching you, as I usually do, quiet and alone.
    Silent and still, the harassment goes untold
    But I am here today, watch the story unfold.
    You are not what you seem, no answers, no reasons,
    Forged personalities equal counterfeit lives.
    Geschmiedete Beschaffenheiten gleiche Fälschungleben.

    I utter my words so quiet a mouse
    None ever hear the lexis that drips from my mouth douse.
    I want to help you, stop you from your hypocrisy
    No intentions of an autocracy.
    Misunderstood with my personal seal,
    You will never understand the pain I feel.

    I want to save you, guide each one of you,
    But it seems impossible with your biased point of view.
    Instead of following I mellow far behind
    Why is this shallow America so blind?
    Its ok to be different, we all have fears
    I want to assist you, allow me to wipe away your tears.

    Character is built through blistering hearts
    And each one of you incase black and corrupt parts.
    Inner individual is not so much as demon and hell
    Souls being sold… sit up straight maggot militia; I have a tale to tell.


    The Executed Soldier’s Tale

    Of this individual I would like to tell
    And I want to make point of it this eccentric soldier fell.
    She drowned in her own hidden persona.
    All her life fading into society’s resemblance
    Eaten away by this semblance.
    “She isn’t real”
    “She doesn’t feel”
    In this time of conventionality her pretty little face matched
    Each of their pretty little faces
    Except her hidden thighs, pleasantly scratched.
    Control her, so she can control only one thing
    Her measure of pain, a dagger she did bring
    And nothing could stop the gashes that decorated her pale wrists.

    A man she followed, he was everything she wanted to be
    Intelligent, handsome, all pleasing except for his insanity,
    She was unaware of this, swallowed by conformity,
    She emulated him flawlessly.
    Her great critical apothecary,
    He supplied her with stomach pumping and unconsciousness.
    Everyone liked him though,
    So she did exactly as he
    Pills and pain until she could no longer be free.

    Just as the needle penetrated her skin
    Her hungry broken mind failed to spin,
    The dose relaxed her body one last time.
    She fell deeply into Death’s arm
    He caught her in his deadly charm,
    Icy blue lips and snowy flesh
    He carried her through a world where her life was fresh.
    “This could be you, reporting for duty
    The first woman president, blessed with beauty,
    This could be you, setting an example
    The best mother
    Something other
    Than the toxic tragedy you have become.”

    Deep regret murdered her grace,
    And Death did the honors of fetching the lace.
    He lifted the veil over her face and buried her down
    Her life was short, born in a burial gown.




    Submitted on 2005-11-08 10:13:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Dam girl where you been? LOL! Where is grinninggashes at? Ya'll just disappeared on me!

    This was a definite way to make an introduction! You came back on the scene with something to display! I really liked this. You kept a lot of truth in it and kept me reading it the whole way. You gave such character and such emotion.

    Great job chica!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, this was a KICK-ASS come back to the writing world. This was seriously emotional, and although I can't say I fully got the point, from a poetic stance, I got everything. Obviously, you're talent is in NO WAY lacking, and you're even better than I remember!
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    80317

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    5/29/2019 written by nolram
    Cannot Assimilate written by Daniel Barlow
    Forgetting You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Merge written by saartha
    motivations, eclectic. written by Daniel Barlow
    Exult written by saartha
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Within a structure written by Daniel Barlow
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Lying Acceptance written by ForgottenGraves
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Yearn written by saartha
    Global Death Do Incite written by MyPeriodical
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    being direct, it's written by Daniel Barlow
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Luchinushka written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hurt written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry