[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Philosopherdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 776
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 684

       This is about Jess...Raivn told me to write about her cause it is fun and she truly does inspire art in me...she's just quirky...and she's a man!

    But not as manly as I!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Philosopherdots

    she sits and she frowns
    feet resting on the coffee table
    quietly pondering her latest fable
    the story of her life

    she stands and she smiles
    she had a girl she had a boy
    and she still hasn't found love
    so she just remembers that she's fourteen and she's not suppose to

    she sits down with her notebook
    a new shade of beautiful
    coffee suits her thirst
    but only if you make it right

    all day long they watch her
    never fully comprehending a word she says
    cause she's crazy
    but she's lovely
    and I wish I could get you to meet her

    Submitted on 2005-11-08 12:51:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah! MUch better! I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I was just trying to be honest. You write beautifully, but the way you've gotten into certain things p*sses me off, and I GET ANGRY WHEN YOU ROMANTICIZE ALL THIS HORRIBLE SH*T WITH POETRY. I didn't mean to capitalize all that, but I'm too lazy to go back and rewrite it. It's my birthday, be-atch, and so far it sucks *ss. You left your makeup bag in my car. I really liked this poem.
    | Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure what to say about this piece. I like how you dug into her character trying to comprehend her but I dont think you dug far enough or maybe you dont know enough about her. I'm still left in mystery as to who this woman is, the picture you painted about her was not vivid enough to make me feel like I knew her. In the end I have to agree with you, I too wish I could meet her.

    Peace & Love,
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      she sounds like quite a character. Someone who a person cant help but love. It is a very good tribute to your friend. Keep up the good work. You are right she does bring out the artist in your writing. Thanks for sharing with us. Have a good day.
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Yes written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Records I written by Raphael
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]