Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Philosopherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 845
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 684



    Description:
       This is about Jess...Raivn told me to write about her cause it is fun and she truly does inspire art in me...she's just quirky...and she's a man!

    But not as manly as I!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Philosopherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    she sits and she frowns
    feet resting on the coffee table
    quietly pondering her latest fable
    the story of her life

    she stands and she smiles
    she had a girl she had a boy
    and she still hasn't found love
    so she just remembers that she's fourteen and she's not suppose to

    she sits down with her notebook
    a new shade of beautiful
    coffee suits her thirst
    but only if you make it right

    all day long they watch her
    never fully comprehending a word she says
    cause she's crazy
    but she's lovely
    and I wish I could get you to meet her




    Submitted on 2005-11-08 12:51:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah! MUch better! I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I was just trying to be honest. You write beautifully, but the way you've gotten into certain things p*sses me off, and I GET ANGRY WHEN YOU ROMANTICIZE ALL THIS HORRIBLE SH*T WITH POETRY. I didn't mean to capitalize all that, but I'm too lazy to go back and rewrite it. It's my birthday, be-atch, and so far it sucks *ss. You left your makeup bag in my car. I really liked this poem.
    | Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure what to say about this piece. I like how you dug into her character trying to comprehend her but I dont think you dug far enough or maybe you dont know enough about her. I'm still left in mystery as to who this woman is, the picture you painted about her was not vivid enough to make me feel like I knew her. In the end I have to agree with you, I too wish I could meet her.

    Peace & Love,
    Jermaine.
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      she sounds like quite a character. Someone who a person cant help but love. It is a very good tribute to your friend. Keep up the good work. You are right she does bring out the artist in your writing. Thanks for sharing with us. Have a good day.
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    80342

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    To written by SavedDragon
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry