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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Philosopherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 684



    Description:
       This is about Jess...Raivn told me to write about her cause it is fun and she truly does inspire art in me...she's just quirky...and she's a man!

    But not as manly as I!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Philosopherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    she sits and she frowns
    feet resting on the coffee table
    quietly pondering her latest fable
    the story of her life

    she stands and she smiles
    she had a girl she had a boy
    and she still hasn't found love
    so she just remembers that she's fourteen and she's not suppose to

    she sits down with her notebook
    a new shade of beautiful
    coffee suits her thirst
    but only if you make it right

    all day long they watch her
    never fully comprehending a word she says
    cause she's crazy
    but she's lovely
    and I wish I could get you to meet her




    Submitted on 2005-11-08 12:51:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah! MUch better! I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I was just trying to be honest. You write beautifully, but the way you've gotten into certain things p*sses me off, and I GET ANGRY WHEN YOU ROMANTICIZE ALL THIS HORRIBLE SH*T WITH POETRY. I didn't mean to capitalize all that, but I'm too lazy to go back and rewrite it. It's my birthday, be-atch, and so far it sucks *ss. You left your makeup bag in my car. I really liked this poem.
    | Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not sure what to say about this piece. I like how you dug into her character trying to comprehend her but I dont think you dug far enough or maybe you dont know enough about her. I'm still left in mystery as to who this woman is, the picture you painted about her was not vivid enough to make me feel like I knew her. In the end I have to agree with you, I too wish I could meet her.

    Peace & Love,
    Jermaine.
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      she sounds like quite a character. Someone who a person cant help but love. It is a very good tribute to your friend. Keep up the good work. You are right she does bring out the artist in your writing. Thanks for sharing with us. Have a good day.
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]


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