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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: PARENTAL ADVISORY (Rated-X)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Munchie_1226
    ASL Info:    25/F/E.STL
    Elite Ratio:    4.49 - 1831/1834/185
    Words: 257
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1440
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1526



    Description:
       This contains very very very explicit material.

    I got caught in a moment and when I have a moment there is no telling what will come from it.

    Some will choose to hate this...some won't. Depends on the freak from within.

    Please don't judge me from this....it's all fiction.

    Thanks.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPARENTAL ADVISORY (Rated-X)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    How do you want it?
    Let me display the wild within.
    A strip tease for your pleasure………..

    Watch my hips,
    As they begin to sway.
    I lick my fingers,
    And lean your way.

    Back and forth on your lap.
    I whisper in your ear.
    This will be the perfect way,
    To draw sexual tension near.

    One by one the buttons fall loose,
    Keeping rhythm in mind.
    Lifting my hair off of my shoulders,
    As I give you a glimpse from behind.

    I straddle your lap; push my breasts in your face.
    And grab the back of your head.
    An extra sound added to the song,
    As we gently rock the bed.

    You want me to take over now,
    You want to feel my lips.
    As my tongue slowly heads down south,
    And I gently caress your dick.

    Moan for me daddy; tell me how it feels,
    I want to hit all of your spots.
    Just the taste of you in my mouth,
    Has gotten my pussy hot.

    Pull my thong off to the side,
    Get me as wet as you please.
    As hard as you have gotten by now,
    I want you to slide in with ease.

    I want to scream your name tonight,
    Give me all you can.
    Give it to me nasty papi,
    Show me you are a man.

    Leave me lying helpless,
    Tired from the tension.
    I know a lot about making love,
    When it comes to fucking, I still need a few lessons.




    Submitted on 2005-11-08 14:14:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I can relate! Great write! Love the [[flow, wording, rhyme]]. You rock!" ...
    I can relate! Great write! Love the [[flow, wording, rhyme]]. You rock!" = Bad comment
    I can relate! Great write! Love the [[flow, wording, rhyme]]. You rock!" = Bad comment
    I can relate! Great write! Love the [[flow, wording, rhyme]]. You rock!" = Bad comment
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by vohomegirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Only one comment really: Damn! Can't belive I haven't read this before. Great imagery ;). Keep up the great work.
    I am now forced to type a bit more so I can post this so please forgive my ramblings; everything I really wanted to say is in the 1st short "paragraph."
    J
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      nice...i really like it. Needless to say there was plenty of imagery and yet there was plenty left to the imagination...depending on the kindo f mind you have i suppose. ANyway, i liked it, personally though, the last two lines were my favorite. Great write though!
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Mercy December | [ Reply to This ]
      YES!!! YES!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OH! Wow! I got caught up in the moment...

    *Puts penis back in pants*

    That was hot! That was wow! Excuse me, I gotta go repent!

    xXx
    | Posted on 2005-12-29 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      Give it to me like I want it,
    Can you let go of the wild within,
    I know you can tease but can you perform when it comes to our pleasure?...

    I'll grab and hold tight at your hips,
    I swear to you my love we can make love all day/
    As you lick your lips so sexually,
    I try to ignore the words that you say/

    Back and Forth between No and Yes,
    I just wisper in your ear/
    Wait till you FEEL my d*ck,
    You tell me to cum but I tell you I'm already here/

    One by One orgasms are made,
    But of coarse I'm forced to keep rythm in mind/
    Lifting your hair off your shoulders,
    As we switch positions you give me a glimps from behind/

    Now you sit on my lap and press your breast to my face,
    As you have hold of the back of my head/
    That makes me feel so helpless,
    Now we f*uck on the floor because our pleasure has broken the bed/

    I let you take over now,
    First my lips touch your lips/
    Then you look further south,
    And now your lips touch my d*ck/

    I can't help but to moan, it just feels that great,
    Your special baby, you hit every one of my spots/
    I'm not 50 so I want more than Just A Lil' Bit,
    Now I feel like Llyod Banks I'm On Fire, so HOT/

    We're finished, I think i had the best sex of my life,
    But now your putting that beautiful ass back in a thong/
    As hard as I've been, and as we as you've been,
    I can't wait till the next tim we get it on/

    I made you scream my name tonight,
    I gave you everthing that I can/
    You were trying to prove you we're more than a girl,
    And I was trying to prove I'm more than a man/

    Sorry, but i had to, I just loved this song so much, i figured i would put a lil bit in there from me, you know? This was a really beautiful song and to have a song about sex it has to be sexy, hot, and beautiful, you had all those elements.

    Much Love and Duece
    Robbin Hood
    *a fellow pimp
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by Robbing Hood | [ Reply to This ]
      damn girl, my mouth was all hitting the ground when I read this this is nice, flow is great, when you get time read some of my stuff, you know? maybe youll like it


    deuce
    the aberrant soldier
    | Posted on 2005-12-28 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      Just let me ask you a question. Were you sweating when you wrote this, and was the paper or notebook soaked? Were the windows open or closed? Did you cum at the end?

    Nah girl, just playin'... gotta take it easy on the tease... you know I might need to fly over there and rlease the tension...


    >>>brax
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Brack-Attax | [ Reply to This ]
      i probaly shouldn't know about sex at my age but i do and this was a good piece. don't get me wrong i'm not fast but i've had my share of expeiences and i'm so sexually frustrated and this makes it worse. good write and just to let you know i lve your work.
    | Posted on 2005-12-15 00:00:00 | by Jamie06 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...umm...yeah. This was awsome. The fact that I see your picture, and the fact that you use such great immagry, well, I am kinda ashamed to say, aroused me alittle. I could picture it the entire time. As far as the poem is concerend, it was well written, good imagery, and good usage of certain words, like rythm and wisper kinda set the mood. Kinda wish that I was the guy in the poem by about the 4th line. LOL Well, take it easy. **Wipes sweat off brow**
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by poeticvisionary | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...wait I need time to compose myself. ok. that [censored] was cool. it's f**king with words...kinda. yeah this was pretty dirty and yes you did warn me, but i LOVED THIs SHJT. this is going on my fave list babe. peace out. you got me blushing in my comp class
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... that leaves me kind of...interested, rofl... time to go take a really cold shower and forget about it, lol. I think I am going to go find my b/f, rofl...
    :peeks head around corner:
    "Oh Ben..."
    I really liked this, because that is just me, rofl... excellent creativity. I could see it all in my head, well... not other people, lol.
    Vicious
    | Posted on 2005-11-11 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      lol, wow, um, *cough*, gee, um, thanks! whew, i needed that...*clean up on aisle 6! somebody made a mess!* it was hot, it was sexy, it was fun to read...great job (and great moves!).
    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      ooo...I really like this..haha...I think what I like about pieces like this..is that it's something I could NEVER write...no balls I guess... :) But I THINK it..and I thank you for writing it. Ya it was dirty...but...I mean...everybody thinks it right? And you're so right..making love is a beautiful thing..but sometimes people just need a good F*** haha..great job. Thanks! ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I'll be horn-swaggled and hog-tied. Of course I liked it, I mean jeez louise;)

    Now, more technical thoughts:

    Good pacing, building up to the crescendo of climax (pun intended). But seriously, a good pace of progression. Some of the rhymes come off as forced, (7th and 8th stanzas), and in the last "tensions" and "lessons" really grates. Other than those three notes, good rhyming elsewhere.

    I enjoyed the first two stanzas for thier seperation of form, but the list... eeek. Kinda of easy for the subject. I think maybe you cheated yourself by going that route in the second stanza.

    But, on the whole, I give this one a thumbs up. Thanks for sharing;)

    Todd
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Cigarz | [ Reply to This ]
      *fans self* wow you got the biggest freak on elite up in here hot bother and blushing! hats off to you on this...sure it's crude...yea it's up front...and heck somepeople might even get offended but it's still a damn good piece of word Li! damn good! this was just wow..imagery was bananas...instant fav...

    thank you for bringing back memories of this weekend for me! lmao! hmmmmmmmmmmmm...dang can i call my boy now? lol

    ya sista Tina
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      i lick my lips and watch you squirm i touch your hips and my body burns it burns for the pleasures you want from me. it burns deep inside now i am horny lol peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-08 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      *Fanning self* Holy crap. Man.

    *Wishes she had something like this more than ever*

    You conveyed everything, point blank honest. That's what I like. There wasn't any sugar coating it. I love poems like that. I agree with loveispain sometimes people just do need a good f***. LOL!

    PS: Don't feel the need to comment on my work I'm trying to get to +30 I'd taken a leave from the site for a while and now I'm back to get my reciprocation up. So, don't feel like you have to comment back. I'm just doing everyone a favor. Thanks for the read!

    BCute<3
    | Posted on 2006-08-21 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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