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I caught her looking from across the bar
at first I had no smile for her
she caught me off gaurd
it occured to me she had your hair
she was about to turn away
my eyes betrayed interest
my lips breached a smile
after a few cocktails
she seemed to look more like you
she laughed at my worst jokes
something you never did

I whispered secrets in her ear
that let my lips move soft along her neck
and feeling lost and loose among the curls of her long hair
the green apple scented shampoo recalled our past

remember the basement apartment
we slept two to a single
no bath just a shower
I'd shampoo you
you'd condition me
was it Herbal Essense?
the two of us scrubbing each other

our love was bright
just then
like a noon sun
or lighthouse
in a fog

It was innocence
wrapped in white
before we tested
the purity of red

when
blood ran between us
like siamese twins

the old photos
I found by chance
show us love clasped
like blooming vines
one around the other
with blossoms firm and ripe
entwined like strands

I whisper foolishly:

I want to feel myself
welcomed amongst your curves
until our borders merge…

I wish I knew how to unmake these prison walls
I am the blind architect of my faults,

the desert is my palate
its hues the tones of bone
over meandering dunes
the empty blue of the sky
the grit between my teeth
the iching thirst from out my throat
with them I paint my bars
Like an actor between staged walls

you are sonorous murmurs
of water bubbling in a pool-
the dream of you in my palms
makes me drink the air like a fool.

she hears me speak
arcs in yielding tones
draws me into
her emptiness
I feel myself
drown in half shades
of what I want
gasping for you
wondering
who
she is trying to
replace too