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Scared To Breathe


Author: Ashleigh Mari
ASL Info:    16/ F/ IN
Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 21 /64 /12
Words: 151
Class/Type: Poetry /Passion
Total Views: 1166
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 886



Description:


I wrote this today at lunch... About 20 minutes ago.


Scared To Breathe



When you look at me,
Can you see the fear I hide?
Can you feel the pain I live with?
Can you taste the tears I cry?

When you look at me,
Do you know who I am?
Can you see the past in my scars?
Will you ever understand?

When you look at me,
Am I the one you love?
Is there a future beneath the angst?
Do we just need to be nudged?

Because I look at me,
And I'm scared to know.
I'm lost in the reality of it all,
Finding ways to let you go.

I look into these eyes,
The sparkle has faded.
My spirit died too long ago,
And my heart couldn't make it.

I inhale my last breath,
I turn to let you look at me.
I see the questions in your eyes,
But I'm too scared to breathe.




Submitted on 2005-11-09 10:38:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  i'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAHi'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAH
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAHi'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAH
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAHi'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAH
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAHi'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAH
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAHi'm such an idiot but i need to get my comments up... omg... i'm such a fake... lol. but, i can't get on too much anymore so i'm going to post this same comment about 500 times to get it back up... i'm a loser... my mom banned me from the net because she's a total [censored] and got mad, blamed me for viruses... whatever... anyways...

CAH
| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by bloody_carebear | [ Reply to This ]
  Such haunting fear is expressed is this poem.

"Can you taste the tears I cry?"

That is probably my favourite line from the poem although the repetitiveness in the stanza is a little off putting.

The poem is haunting, beautifully morbid.
<3 it
Laura-Grace
| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with RWS iy seems to me that somthing or multiple experiences in your life have made you unsure of who you are, which unfortunately happens, but i am glad that you are writing poetry because when your writing poetry and putting your emotions down on paper it kinda forces you to look at how it is that you are feeling as well as alot of times it brings to light different qualities about your self you did not even know were there! so step back from it all take a momemt to study your poetry you might find somthing new in your self that your very proud of and you believe is unique and then when that happens don't be afraid to nurture that quality so that the good starts to out weight the bad and then maybe you won't be so afraid to show the people closest to you who it is you really are.
| Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by always thinking | [ Reply to This ]
  I understand this write

Dont be afraid to let go off all the negativities that have held you back
I can tell from this write that something very traumatic has happenend to you in life

Let it go

Look ahead to all that life has in store for you
You are a bright person

Reach for the stars and I guarantee you you will find your own planet

Take Care
Ron

Please if you have a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  Whatever it is that happened to you must've been highly traumatic. The fact that you can articulate your feelings, to me is a big step towards your healing process. This poem is a plea for aid, a plea for healing. But i feel you are holding on to the past, not being able to let go, which, is increases the misery.

Very well written, perfect flow to the poem. To me it’s a sad painful song.
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by Sanjhana | [ Reply to This ]
  You seem too terrified to exist, let alone live, and your fear of rejection and low self esteem are as apparent as walls cutting off escape from depression. This is a very well written and blatantly honest cry for understanding from someone who doesn't understand themself and needs an interpreter to feel worthy of love and acceptance. Stay alive and keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow...I've read this like 4 times now...and I'm not sure that I "get it" It's beautiful..and I'm drawn to it...I guess I'm wondering what happened to this girl..or guy..to make them hurt so bad. And this person that's looking at them..did they have something to do with it? Or maybe they're hurting over something entirely different...and this other person just can't help. I don't know...but I'd really like to...haha...this was great...extremely well written...I loved it...great job. ~hailie~
| Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
  Intentionally or not, it seems like the narrator or person speaking dies at the end. Is that itentional? If so- that would make this a trajic piece. But looking twice perhaps its not the speaker who dies, its his/her feeling or connection for the person he/she is talking to has died.
| Posted on 2005-11-09 00:00:00 | by RequiemOfDreams | [ Reply to This ]


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